Task 2 People should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65.Do you agree or disagree?
My answer:
In the modern society the workers have to go on retirement at a particular age, even if they want to proceed their work. Nowadays this is very apparent in a job markets. It is agreed that people should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to and not be forced to retire at a particular age. This will be proven by analyzing how age of retirement causes unemployment of older people and is not considered for each person.
One of key requirements of job market is an age of applicant. So, if candidate is too young, he has not got enough job experience to be acceptable. Also, if the age of candidate is close to retirement, he is not very eligible because he cannot serve for company in long run perspective. By some reasons employers do not eager to employ old candidate. As a result, age of retirement causes the unemployment or difficulties to find a proper job for old people.
By setting one retirement age for all people, government considers health of every person of its citizenship as an equal. However, the health and abilities of each person are widely various. For example, hard-working person likes being active: always has a work to do, reversely, he fells sick and melancholic without doing any business. So the retirement stage should be settled individually. After analyzing this, it is clear that only way is to give people freedom to decide themselves when go to retirement.
Following the analysis of job market functioning features as well as human abilities t work, it is clear that people should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to. It is concluded that government should give more freedom in relationship between employer and employee.
Task 2 FEEDBACK NEEDED
Re: Task 2 FEEDBACK NEEDED
Task 2 People should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65.Do you agree or disagree?
My answer:
In the modern society, the workers have to retire at a particular age even if they want to proceed (continue seems better)their work. Nowadays this is very apparent in a job markets. It is agreed that people should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to and not be forced to retire at a particular age. This will be proven by analyzing how age of retirement causes unemployment of older people and is not considered for each person. ( this will be proven by looking at how retirement precursor to unemployment problems among geriatric people and catalyse personal distress .
One of key requirements of job market is an age of applicant. So, if candidate is too young, he has not got enough job experience to be acceptable.( this is out of topic sentence) Also, if the age of candidate is close to retirement, he is not very eligible(ineligible) because he( don’t use pronoun) cannot serve for company in long run perspective. By some reasons employers do not eager to employ old candidate. As a result, age of retirement causes the unemployment or difficulties to find a proper job for old people. (topic sentence is not strong enough)
By setting one retirement age for all people, government considers health of every person of its citizenship as an equal. However, the health and abilities of each person are widely various. For example, hard-working person likes being active: always has a work to do, reversely, he fells sick and melancholic without doing any business. So the retirement stage should be settled individually. After analyzing this, it is clear that only way is to give people freedom to decide themselves when go to retirement.( I feel hard to understand this para)
Following the analysis of job market functioning features as well as human abilities the work, it is clear that people should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to. It is concluded that government should give more freedom in relationship between employer and employee.
Hello Saya,
I am student like you and hope something would help you.
I think the structure of the essay lacks behind. Please follow Ryan style of writing. You can definitely improve it. Your topic sentence is not strong enough. Please keep your eye regarding it)
All the very best
My answer:
In the modern society, the workers have to retire at a particular age even if they want to proceed (continue seems better)their work. Nowadays this is very apparent in a job markets. It is agreed that people should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to and not be forced to retire at a particular age. This will be proven by analyzing how age of retirement causes unemployment of older people and is not considered for each person. ( this will be proven by looking at how retirement precursor to unemployment problems among geriatric people and catalyse personal distress .
One of key requirements of job market is an age of applicant. So, if candidate is too young, he has not got enough job experience to be acceptable.( this is out of topic sentence) Also, if the age of candidate is close to retirement, he is not very eligible(ineligible) because he( don’t use pronoun) cannot serve for company in long run perspective. By some reasons employers do not eager to employ old candidate. As a result, age of retirement causes the unemployment or difficulties to find a proper job for old people. (topic sentence is not strong enough)
By setting one retirement age for all people, government considers health of every person of its citizenship as an equal. However, the health and abilities of each person are widely various. For example, hard-working person likes being active: always has a work to do, reversely, he fells sick and melancholic without doing any business. So the retirement stage should be settled individually. After analyzing this, it is clear that only way is to give people freedom to decide themselves when go to retirement.( I feel hard to understand this para)
Following the analysis of job market functioning features as well as human abilities the work, it is clear that people should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to. It is concluded that government should give more freedom in relationship between employer and employee.
Hello Saya,
I am student like you and hope something would help you.
I think the structure of the essay lacks behind. Please follow Ryan style of writing. You can definitely improve it. Your topic sentence is not strong enough. Please keep your eye regarding it)
All the very best