Please assess my Task 2 writing, thanks.

[tinalongmao]

Task 2
Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefitial this is a danger to our societies.

What are your views?


Human being has been changing the world and in return people themselves are being changed at the same time. There is an invisible net crossing over the global to deliver information and promote information sharing.

Whistle, people benefit from technology on the one hand, they suffer from the outcome of technology’s development even more than benefits.
It’s not the technology itself that does harm to society, rather it is the way how people apply technology that derivates the initial intention.

Lack of time control in digital devices using. It is a common phenomen that most people stick their eyes on the screen anywhere, anytone. No matter what they do, they are always accompanied by mobile or other electronic devices, the whole day long, which destroys people’s health, not only for eyesight, more seriously, long time exploded to the radiation is harmful to one’s immune system.

Another problem of the information sharing is massive inappropriate information. As more and more open resources available through websites, information that may mislead audience is also spreading In a highway speed. Some of them may twist people’s especially young people’s acknowledge to the society and impose a negative image of the reality on teenagers, which would be q potential threat to the society, as young groups are the one more likely to immitate what they see.

To sum up, there is nothing wrong of technology’s development, what changes the initial purpose of development is the way people use the technology. If it is used properly, people would benefit more good than harm from Morse technology and vice versa.

[Flick]

Task 2
Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial this is a danger to our societies.

What are your views?


Human beings have been changing the world and in return people themselves are being changed at the same time. There is an invisible net crossing the globe to deliver information and promote information sharing.

Whilst people benefit from technology on the one hand, they suffer from the outcome of technology’s development even more.
It’s not the technology itself that does harm to society, rather it is the way people apply technology that deviates from the initial intention.

Lack of time control in digital devices using.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) It is a common phenomenon that most people retain access to a screen anywhere they go, any time. No matter what they are doing, they are always accompanied by mobile or other electronic devices, the whole day long, which destroys people’s health, not only for eyesight, more seriously, long time exploded to the radiation is harmful to one’s immune system.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

Another problem of the information sharing is inappropriate information. As more and more open resources become available through websites, information that may mislead the audience is also spreading rapidly. Some of this misinformation may twist people’s understanding of the society and create a negative image of reality on teenagers, which would be a potential threat to the society, as young groups are more likely to imitate what they see.

To sum up, there is nothing wrong with technology’s development. What changes the initial purpose of development is the way people use the technology. If it is used properly, people would receive more benefits than harm.

[tinalongmao]

Thanks for your correction.

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