[Task 1] Please, can someone check grammatics/vocabulary

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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AlbertGrau
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 1:32 am

[Task 1] Please, can someone check grammatics/vocabulary

Post by AlbertGrau »

I do not need content checking, but I would apreciate a grammar and vocabulary check. Thanks!


The table compares the expenses of five different country's citizenry in 2002 in three product categories: Foods/Drinks/Tobacco, Clothing/Footwear and Leisure/Educational. Data is given in percents. Overall, major fractions of expenditure were destined to food, drinks and tobacco, independently of consumer's nationality.

The most important percentages of expenditure were placed in Food/Drinks/Tobacco in every country. Among them, Turkey and Ireland cope the highest expenses with 32,14% and 28,91%, respectively. In addition, slightly spending differences existed between Spain, Italy and Sweden, that shared percents around 17%.

In contrast, neither Clothing/Footwear nor Leisure/Education categories had percentages higher than 10%. Specifically, Italian consumers placed a 9% of their expenses to clothing and footwear, while people of the other four countries destined roughly a 6% to the same products. With regard to the last category, Turkey's people spent a 4,35% of their total outcome in leisure and educational necessities, whilst Ireland, Italy and Sweden populations expended about a 3%. Spain's expenditure percentage in Leisure/Education was the lowest among all the countries, with a minute 1,98%.
AlbertGrau
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 1:32 am

Re: [Task 1] Please, can someone check grammatics/vocabulary

Post by AlbertGrau »

Any comment? please.
bissaggy
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 1:42 am

Re: [Task 1] Please, can someone check grammatics/vocabulary

Post by bissaggy »

hi Albert,
1. most important percentages should have been major percentage of
2.second line instead of "compares the expenses" , " compares the expenditure " is more appropriate
3.the line "overall, major fractions of expenditure were destined to food " is inappropriate and doesn't convey the meaning.
It should have been, " the highest share of expenditure was incurred for food"

Overall you need to take care on sentence framing .Good attempt though.

Biswajit
AlbertGrau
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 1:32 am

Re: [Task 1] Please, can someone check grammatics/vocabulary

Post by AlbertGrau »

Thank you so much! A very useful commentm :)
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