Kindly Evaluate my Task 2

[sweetypatel]

Topic:
'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?

Answer:
Work from home is increasing in almost all the countries of the world. It is convenient for both employees and employers. This concept of telecommuting is beneficial for the society from social, economical and environment point of view.

From a social point of view, it may positively affect the family which is a core part of the social community. In most of the countries, either parent, especially a woman, will have to leave the job to take care of the child. The concept of work from home enables them to work without going office, making themselves free from the guilt of leaving the child alone at home. Due to this time flexibility, they could spend more time with family, friends and children, which is the sign of a healthy society where people interact and become socialize with each other. Thus, it is the great step towards mental health of people and so flourishing civilization.

From the economical point of view, it helps to grow global economy. As many constraints like time, traveling and social responsibilities are removed by this concept of work from home, more citizens joined the workforce, as a result, production has improved and also the wealth of the country. From another point of view, employers would not have to think about the availability of the resources like workforce, office space, telephones, office stationeries and computers, which decreases the cost of production.

Also, the environment will also be benefitted by this policy. For example, because people will not have to commute to the office every day, not only traffic will be reduced but also air pollution will be diminished.

In conclusion, due to computers, information technology and telecommunication, it has become possible to create a virtual office in the world where people from anywhere could be hired and cost of production could be reduced. Consequently, not only employee and employer but also society as a whole would gain from this.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I think that you have brought up a VERY important point in the first main paragraph, BUT remember that in most countries this is true already, without the rise of modern technology.

The third main paragraph is too short and needs development.

Overall, this is a good essay. Points are valid and clear. Vocabulary is good. There is a good range of structures and they are used well, despite some errors.

All the best,
David

[sweetypatel]

Thanks, David , for your suggestions.

I would be grateful if you can give me an approximate band for this essay. I am not a native speaker but I have learnt English from my childhood.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi!
What band score are you aiming for?
David

[sweetypatel]

Hi David,

I am aiming for 6 band in IELTS - General Test.
My test date is 3rd November 2016.

[Flick]

Topic:
'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?

Answer:
Employees working from home is increasing in almost all the countries of the world. It is convenient for both employees and employers. This concept of telecommuting is beneficial for the society from social, economical and environmental points of view.

From a social point of view, it may positively affect the employees family, which is a core part of the social community. In most countries, either parent, especially the wife, will have to leave their job to take care of their child. The concept of working from home enables them to work without going to an office, making themselves free from the guilt of leaving the child alone at home. Due to this time flexibility, they could spend more time with family, friends and children, which is a sign of a healthy society where people interact and socialize with each other. Thus, it is a great step forward for the mental health of people, and a flourishing civilization.

From the economic point of view, it helps to grow the global economy. As many constraints like time, traveling and social responsibilities are removed by this concept of working from home, more citizens can join the workforce. As a result, production will improve, as will the wealth of the country. From another point of view, employers would not have to think about the availability of resources like workforce, office space, telephones, office stationery and computers, which decreases the cost of production.

Also, the environment will be benefited by this policy. For example, because people will not have to commute to the office every day, not only will traffic be reduced, but air pollution will also be diminished.

In conclusion, due to computers, information technology and telecommunication, it has become possible to create a virtual office so people from anywhere can be hired, and the cost of production can be reduced. Consequently, not only employee and employer but also society as a whole would gain from this.