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[krish8286]

There are many types of music in this world today . Why do we need music ? Is the traditional music of a country more important and should it be preserved or is the international music that is heard every where nowadays more useful to a society ?

The significance of music differs from culture to culture. Music is not only a source of entertainment, but a crucial part of cultural heritage in most societies. Despite the growing popularity of international music , cultural music has its own unique identity in any society , and thus it is argued that both forms of music should be valued equally in today’s world .
On the one hand, traditional music is key part of certain traditional practices, and without them the uniqueness of these traditions will be lost. For instance, In South-Asian countries, in particular in some cultures of Nepal and India, wedding ceremonies and baptism are considered incomplete in the absence of certain cultural music being played . As the traditional music is a key part of historical traditions in some societies , it understandable why it holds a significant place in many cultures .
On the other hand , prominence of international music is well justified. Firstly, it appeals to global audiences , and helps people to know about other cultures and languages . For example, many schools in Asian countries , resort to western pop music to teach young people about western cultures and languages. Also, many studies have suggested that listening to music is one of the fastest way of learning a non-native language. Secondly , as the cultures of world are merging , western pop –music has become a source of entertainment , with people playing it from nightclubs to wedding receptions .Thus , the above illustration clearly justifies why international music dominant in today’s world.
After analyzing the upsides of both cultural and international music, it is hard to say that the advantages of one outweigh that of the other. Therefore, it is believed both music form are of equal importance in modern world

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a very good essay with clear examples and good development. Both vocabulary and grammar are very good and the comparatively few mistakes do not interfere with meaning. The first main paragraph could be a little more developed, for example by explaining why these ceremonies need or use music.

All the best,
David