Please Comment on my Writing Task Answers... Really need it badly.

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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hunkydoryme
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:07 pm

Please Comment on my Writing Task Answers... Really need it badly.

Post by hunkydoryme »

"The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?"

Tourism is defined as traveling within or outside the country in a limited duration for recreation, family, religious, leisure or business purpose. Recently, the prices of international travel drop off and tourism is booming. Some believe that tourism is a major source of income for many countries and some refute the idea whereas higher prices of their goods affects the locals of the area. These points of view will be discussed in this order.

It is believe by some people that tourism is notable source of income for their country. As evidence, the more tourist come by the area, transportation, hotels and restaurants will increase their profits because these are the first in line needed by the travelers and the government will eventually boost their assets. Another essential point is the government can provide a wide range of jobs for their citizen. It is apparent that it can not only sustain the government earnings but can implement work for the local.

On the other hand, many pointed out the cons of the emerging tourism in some country. Specifically, majority of their workforce is tourism-reliant, which means these jobs are only seasonal and does not guarantee a local to have reliable source of cash-flow in a year. Another essential point is the high prices of goods, it is expected by the tourist but the local is affected by paying the same price for the products. Therefore adding up to the burden of the locals.

It has been shown that the surging trend of tourism in many countries because of the subsiding rate of international or domestic travel influenced a lot of aspects of a country which includes the revenue and livelihood of its local. For the purpose of presenting the points of view of the pros and cons of tourism, it is analyzed that implementing a proper strategic plan for developing the tourism of many countries must be prioritize then minimizing the possibility of hurting their economies.
eppofahmi
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:59 pm

Re: Please Comment on my Writing Task Answers... Really need it badly.

Post by eppofahmi »

It is believe by some people
It is believed by ... as far as i know, use past or present participle after tobe

not only sustain the government earnings but can implement work for the local.
not only sustain the government earnings but also can implement work for the local.
hunkydoryme
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:07 pm

Re: Please Comment on my Writing Task Answers... Really need it badly.

Post by hunkydoryme »

eppofahmi wrote:It is believe by some people
It is believed by ... as far as i know, use past or present participle after tobe

not only sustain the government earnings but can implement work for the local.
not only sustain the government earnings but also can implement work for the local.
Thank you for correcting my mistakes. I am still working on my writing skills and this help me a lot. :)
faruk079
Posts: 53
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2015 5:00 am

Re: Please Comment on my Writing Task Answers... Really need it badly.

Post by faruk079 »

I tried to make the correction as far as I know.

"The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?"

The tourism is defined as thetraveling within or outside the country for a limited duration for recreation, family, religious, leisure or business purpose. Recently, the prices of international travel drop off and tourism is booming as a result. Some believe that tourism is a major source of income for many countries and some refute the idea whereas higher prices of their goods affect the locals of the area. These points of view will be discussed in this order. (I think this line is not necessary.)

It is believed by some people that the tourism is a notable source of income for their country. As evidence, the more tourist come by the area, the profits of transportation, hotels and restaurants are increased because these are the first in line needed by the travelers and the government will eventually boost their assets. Another essential point is that the governments can provide a wide range of jobs for their citizens. It is apparent that it can not only sustain the government earnings but can implement work for the local.

On the other hand, many pointed out the cons of the emerging tourism in some countries. Specifically, majority of their workforce is tourism-reliant, which means these jobs are only seasonal and does not guarantee a local to have reliable source of cash-flow in a year. Another essential point is the high prices of goods, it is expected by the tourist but the local is affected by paying the same price for the products. Therefore, adding up to the burden of the locals.

It has been shown that the surging trend of tourism in many countries because of the subsiding rate of international or domestic travel influenced a lot of aspects of a country which includes the revenue and livelihood of its local. For the purpose of presenting the points of view of the pros and cons of tourism, it is analyzed that implementing a proper strategic plan for developing the tourism of many countries must be prioritized rather than minimizing the possibility of hurting their economies.
hunkydoryme
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:07 pm

Re: Please Comment on my Writing Task Answers... Really need it badly.

Post by hunkydoryme »

^^thank you so much for correcting my essay. I really appreciate it :)
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