Task 2 essay - plz review n provide ur feeback

[jaypatel]

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?


People have different views about whether or not the beliefs of traditional ways of life and behavior are still relevant in building current generation’s modern life. In my view, while many suggestions of old generation are still applicable in today’s time, there are some that have become unnecessary.

The traditions are the result of the wisdom of many generations, which are tested and proven to be the most suitable approach of livings after considering various factors such as weather, availability of resources and social fabrics of local places. Elderly people know these facts very well because of their experience and the way they overcome difficult situations. For example, in hot countries like India cotton cloths are often suggested by the senior people to young individuals, because cotton tends to have cooling effect against heat and sweat. Therefore, such conventional practices will find their place in today’s advanced lifestyle.

On the other hand, I can understand the arguments against the conventional thinking and practices. Some of them were acceptable based on the situation of the past. However, our lifestyle keeps on changing and therefore we need to act, behave and think accordingly. Today, we live in more comfortable houses and we tend to do less physical work than we do in the past. Therefore, people should add more proteins on their diets rather than carbo-hydride because they require to be more mental agile than to have physical strength. Considering all such factors, young people should follow only that advises of elderly people, which are still relevant in today’s environment.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the young people should wisely choose those traditional values and lifestyles which still suite their modern life rather than following them blindly.

[myieltstest]

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?


People have different views about whether or not the beliefs of traditional ways of life and behavior are still relevant in building current generation’s modern life. In my view, while many suggestions of old generation are still applicable in today’s time, there are some that have become unnecessary.

The traditions are the result of the wisdom of many generations, which are tested and [are ?] proven to be the most suitable approach of livings after considering various factors such as weather, availability of resources and
social fabrics of local places
[I do not understand the meaning.]

. Elderly people know these facts very well because of their experience and the way they overcome difficult situations. For example, in hot countries like India cotton cloths are often suggested by the senior people to young individuals, because cotton tends to have cooling effect against heat and sweat. Therefore, such conventional practices will find their place in today’s advanced lifestyle.

On the other hand, I can understand the arguments against the conventional thinking and practices. Some of them were acceptable based on the situation of the past. However, our lifestyle keeps on changing and therefore we need to act, behave and think accordingly. Today, we live in more comfortable houses and we tend to do less physical work than we do [did] in the past. Therefore, people should add more proteins on their diets rather than [carbo-hydride] [carbohydrate] because they require to be more mental[ly?] agile than to have physical strength. Considering all such factors, young people should follow only that advises of elderly people, which are still relevant in today’s environment.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the young people should wisely choose those traditional values and lifestyles which still suite their modern life rather than following them blindly.

those are some mistakes that I found out.
I am still learning also so cannot give better suggestion.

[jaypatel]

Thanks mate for your corrections. I appreciate your help !