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IELTS Writing Task 2

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:25 pm
by emrekoca
Nowadays, Living in a large city becoming increasingly popular, especially among the young generation. There are both positive and negative sides of living in a large city. In this essay, I will discuss both aspects.

Let’s begin by looking at one of the main advantages of living in a large city is career opportunities. Most of the giant company’s headquarters are located in large cities. That will bring more career chances to people who live there.

Secondly, Income level is relatively higher in large cities. Many people chose to live in a large city because of their income level. Higher-income makes their life standard higher.

Turning to the flip side of the coin, Daily traffic causes huge stress on people. When you obliged to spend two hours in traffic every day it causes a serious problem with your wellbeing. For example, In Istanbul, people kill each other in traffic.

Another issue is air pollution. Millions of people work and live in a relatively small area of land. And of course, many of them have cars. That will bring air pollution issues. I believe air pollution causes health problems. Also, It shortens the lifespan of the people.

In conclusion, deciding to live in a large city is never easy. You need to weigh up the pros of career opportunities and a higher level of income, In the other hand, the cons of traffic jams and air pollution. Personally, I believe the benefit in terms of career opportunities weigh up any negatives.

Re: IELTS Writing Task 2

Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2020 12:12 am
by goldcoastielts
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Thanks for your submission emrekoca!! Please see my rewrite below ... :ugeek:

INTRO:
NONE! :o

B1:
Let’s begin by looking at one of the main advantages of living in a large city WHICH is THE HUGE NUMBER OF career opportunities. Most HUGE COMPANIES HAVE THEIR headquarters located in large cities. THIS MEANS THERE will BE more career OPPORTUNITIES FOR people who live there.
Secondly, Income (NO CAPITAL 'I') level is relatively higher in large cities. Many people CHOOSE to live in a large city because THEY CAN EARN MORE MONEY THERE AND A higher-income WILL IMPROVE THEIR OVERALL LIVING STANDARD/STANDARD OF LIVING.

B2:
Turning to the flip side of the coin, Daily (NO CAPITAL 'D") traffic LEADS TO A LOT OF stress FOR people WORKING IN CITIES. When you obliged to spend two hours OR MORE in traffic every day, it CAN RESULT IN serious problemS TO your wellbeing. For example, In (NO CAPITAL 'I') Istanbul, people ACTUALLY kill each other BECAUSE THE traffic GETS SO BAD. Another issue is air pollution ( :) ). Millions of people work and live in relatively small areaS of land, and of course, many of them have cars WHICH bringS air pollution AND OTHER issues. PERSONALLY, I believe air pollution causes health problems AS WELL AS A shortenING OF the OVERALL lifespan of the people.

CONC:
In conclusion, deciding to live in a large city is never easy. You need to weigh up the pros of career opportunities and a higher level of income, ON the other hand, WITH the cons of traffic jams and air pollution ON THE OTHER. Personally, I believe the benefit in terms of career opportunities OUTweighS any negatives.

Advice:
1. Write an introduction!
2. Don't leave spaces between ideas. Leave spaces between paragraphs.
3. Try to write longer sentences by joining them with simple conjunctions and other linking words.
4. Don't use capital letters in the middle of a sentence (unless it is a proper noun).

TA: 5.5
G: 5.0 (very short sentences)
V: 5.5
CC: 5.0 (no paragraphs)