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Please check my writing Task 2

Posted: Fri May 26, 2017 12:03 pm
by Happy2326
Television is one of the greatest technological advancements of the twentieth century. This can be used for both entertainment and infotainment purposes, which can be a handy tool of learning for young lives.
However, some short sighted British families do not shop for television as they regard it as an idiot-box, which can hamper the ingenuity of their wards. They believe that watching TV is not just wastage of time but it makes the children’s sensory skills passive. Hence, they become slow in studies, their eyes-span decreases, so does their grasping power. Moreover, watching immature content can develop wicked thoughts that can be deleterious for both parents and children. In addition, habit of spoon-feeding develops as it is easy to have ready-made information for school work. Therefore, TV is looked down upon by a handful of Britishers.
According to me, these claims are baseless and futile in nature. As TV is one of the most innovative audio-visual aid in education. We have to make optimum use of this device. For instance, to teach alphabets to young students, an image if letter ‘A’ along with an object like apple or aero-plane coupled with pronunciation can make the students to learn the alphabets more effectively than just plainly reading the text books. Furthermore, there are various educational channels like Discovery and National Geographic which are of great way to know broaden one’s horizons about flora and fauna. Thus, TV helps to develop the social, emotional and thinking skills of the child.
It is evident that pros of TV in terms of developing the minds of young people outweigh the cons of it. As, parental control can be the solution to bar the access to adult channels. Further, it is assumed that TV will remain popular among the people years to come.

Re: Please check my writing Task 2

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:14 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Some strange vocabulary here - eyes-span, grasping power???

You claim that the criticisms of TV are baseless, yet totally fail to refute them. Your second paragraph seems to assume that everyone only watches TV for documentaries and educational programmes, which is demonstrably untrue.

Vocabulary is reasonable. It would be better if coupled with some more precise grammatical structures. Although there are a lot of errors in vocabulary and grammar, the basic arguments are clear enough.

Overall, mediocre.

All the best,
David