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Dear Teachers and Seniors Urgent assessment required. Regards

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 6:51 pm
by AreebZ
The ownership of cars should be restricted to one per family in order to reduce traffic congestion and pollution.

Traffic jams and pollution in air has become horrific nightmare for people in modern world. Everyone faced hours of waiting in cars due to blockade on roads and it has resulted useless fuel burning. It is agreed that in order to minimize the problems caused by massive traffic and unhealthy environment purchasing of vehicle in each family must be limited to one. This argument is proved by analyzing bank loans and flaming of toxic gases from engine combustion system.

Firstly, the increased number of new model cars has given impressive fiscal benefits to the banking sector; leasing facility is available for a person earning average salary per month. For example, a research conducted by Royal Institute of Economic Studies presented a report stating that 90 % Americans possessed personal motorcar and this ratio would increase drastically in coming days due to affordable mechanism created by the banks. This example shows that the raise in auto car is possible due to friendly policies of banking industry. Thus, it is essential that the buying quantity of new commuting vehicle must be governed and monitored.

In addition to this, transportation machines facilitated people to reach destination. However, consumption of fossil fuel from combustion in engines made the entire atmosphere cynic for human beings. For instance, New York Times published an article of famous scientist Dr. Joseph Kent, he stated that CO2 emitting from gasoline is destroying protective ozone layer in hemisphere. This illustration of expert clearly explained that utilization of natural energy is producing harming impact on natural habitat. Therefore, it can be concluded reduction in number of engines is possible solution of excess usage of petro-products.

To reiterate, financial industries are providing easy car financing and escalation in carbon and hydrogen as energy has resulted adverse effect on society. Thus, allowing single car to each family is stringent step to face the hurdle of traffic deadlock and poisonous gases in surrounding. It is recommended that legislation bodies should bring reforms policies and introduce eco-friendly fuel.

Re: Dear Teachers and Seniors Urgent assessment required. Regards

Posted: Thu May 11, 2017 5:02 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Nice question! Let's see if you mention either of 2 points that immediately come to my mind!

Well, the first main paragraph is not related to the specific question (though it is related to the topic in general). In addition, even if this argument were true and American families were limited to one car, what about the rest of the world? This argument is simply not true in many countries, so the overall global effect would be minimal.

The second main paragraph is the classic argument. However, it ignores fuel efficiency, the use of electric cars, and any problems families might have if they only have one car.

Vocabulary and grammar is a bit of a mess.

Main paragraph 1 - the increased number of new model cars (toy cars or just the variety of cars?), in coming days? (not years?), commuting vehicle? (what about for other purposes?), monitored? (how? why? who by?)

Main paragraph 2 - facilitated? (only in the past?), cynic?, hemisphere?

All the best,
David