another letter! pls help me :)

[rairaichan0323]

You are interested to study a short course at a college in an English language country.
Write a letter to its managers and explain
- What course you are going to study ?and why?
- What is you qualifications and experience?
- Why do you choose this college to study?

Dear Mr. Wood,

I am writing this letter to you to request and explain why I am interested to study the Tourism Management programme at the Alexander College.

The course will start from 1st of September until 30th of November. The syllabuses of the programme include teaching skills of tackling customers’ issues, the increase abilities in management skills and how to develop the international tourism. I am convinced that this course can enhance my knowledge and fulfill my potential. I have been working in this company for 4 years as an assistant manager. I hope to have a chance to contribute more to the development of the company; therefore, this course would be helpful.

In addition, the Alexander College is a reputable college particular in the Tourism course. It is my reason why I prefer to study in this institution.

I would be grateful if you can consider this request at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,
Janis Lam

[allen_zhang]

First of all, I want to make it clear that I am also an IELTS exam taker and my best score is just 6. But I think I can help to check your letter.

Dear Mr. Wood,

I am writing this letter to you to request and explain why I am interested to study the Tourism Management programme at the Alexander College.There are grammatic errors in this sentence. "reques and explain" are two verbs but they can not address the same object. Also, "I am writing this letter to", I prefer removing "this letter". I'd like to put it in this way:" I am writing to appply for the Tourism Management course at your college.". mention about your reasons later, because it is not good to combine them here.

The course will start from (the) 1st of September until( -->to ) the30th of November. The syllabuses of the programme include teaching skills of tackling customers’ issues, the(How to) increaseabilities in management skills and how to develop the international tourism. I am convinced (I prefer : I am pretty sure) that this course can enhance my knowledge and fulfill my potential. I have been working in this company (which company??)for 4 years as an assistant manager.(there is no link between sentences and readers don't know why you put it here.) I hope to have a chance to contribute more to the development of the company; therefore, this course would be helpful. kind of awkward to me

In addition, the Alexander College is a reputable college particular --> ,particularly in the Tourism course. It is my(-->the, you used "I prefer", so you'd better not to use my here. ) reason why I prefer to study in this institution.

I would be grateful if you can consider this request at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,
Janis Lam

Generally, too many grammatic errors. I point out some of them but there could be more.

[chaiguy]

Dear Mr. Wood,

I am writing this letter to inform you about my interest in joining a Tourism Management course at the Alexander College.

The course which I would like to join will run between September 1st (Add a year here) and November 30th (Add a year here).

(I have removed this sentence as I don't think you need to say it. The college will already know what the course will entail. Maybe you could give some personal reasons as to why this course would be perfect for you?. I am convinced that this course will enhance my knowledge and allow me to reach my full potential.

I have been working in this company (which company?) for 4 years as an Assistant Manager and I hope to contribute more to the firm's development. (Have you got any other qualifications? If so, make sure you name them)

Furthermore, the Alexander College is a reputable college, particularly in their Tourism department, so therefore this I why I would like to study at this great institution.

Thanks for your time. I look forward to hearing your response.

Yours sincerely, (Add a space here to separate your sign off and your name)

Janis Lam