The right time for children to learn second language has been a riddle since society
start[ed] thinking about global citizenship and opportun
ity, especially in countries
whoe first language is not English.
Most professional
[s] in the field believed that it is best to start learning
[a] second language at primary school while other practitioner
[s] [have] suggested that
start[ing] to learn
[deleted that] in secondary school is more efficient.
I believe that the best time to start learning
[a] second language is at primary school.
It is due to
the fact that for probably best to delete this phrase?
biological reason
[s][;] it is more beneficial and children can have an early exposure to the language.
much better phrasing...well done
Medical research
[has] found out that the premordial
CHECK spelling..primordial...
part of the brain is responsible for emotional sensing, reflexive movement, and imitating
check spelling!
ability. This
immitating ability, which is developing significantly during primary school period,
contibutes significantly in language learning.
On the other hand, logical thinking ability is developed later, that is during [
the] secondary school phase.
This brain development knowledge is
very fundamental information to support the idea that the best time to learn second language is during primary school.
EXCELLENT sentence and GREAT way to summarize at the end of your paragraph and link back to primary thesis
Many language researchers, educators, and experts
EXCELLENT parallelism in your list here
believe
d that each
individu needs different time to absorb every aspect of
[a] new language
learned such as grammar, vocabulary, and prono
unciation.
This learning curve, which
can not be accelerated, can only be balanced by starting
it...say WHA 'it' is!
at early as possible.
By doing so, children can get early exposure to the language.
GOOD sentence
Thus, they also
more get used to (poor phrasing)
and are more confidence in using it.
For this reason, it is obvious that starting
it early in primary school give
[s] children more benefits.
After
compiling odd verb choice here
that brain development phase information about imittating ability that contribute
in language training as well as the fact that getting early exposure that can give more advantages, it is clear that the best time to begin learning foreign language is at primary school.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! What a final sentence....way too long and as a result of its complexity it loses syntactical coherency
OK. BAD NEWS...YOU MIGHT OBTAIN A 6...FAR TOO MANY ERRORS (ESPECIALLY BASIC ERRORS: SPELLING ETC]. AGAIN, SORRY TO SAY, BUT THE CONCLUSION IS A BIT OF A MESS. AS WELL, THROUGHOUT THERE ARE A NUMBER OF MINOR ERRORS SUCH AS INAPPROPRIATE VERB FORMS [ED/ING] AND TENSE CHOICES...PROBABLY PRESENT PERFECT SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED MORE?
OK. GOOD NEWS. THERE IS PROMISE IN YOUR WRITING. ONE OF THE ASPECTS I LIKE IS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PREPARED TO INTRODUCE SOME REALLY BIG IDEAS. TOO OFTEN STUDENTS CENSOR THEMSELVES IN WRITING THE ACADEMIC TASK 2, EVEN IF THEY HAVE ARE AWARE OF HIGH POWERED CONCEPTS.
ADVICE: GO BACK TO BASICS, ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION. FIRST, PRACTICE WRITING SHORT, SIMPLE DECLARATIVE SENTENCES. NEXT, EXPAND THESE SLIGHTLY: ADD AN ADVERB/ADVERBIAL PHRASE TO YOUR SIMPLE SENTENCE OR A TRANSITION/CONNECTOR. FINALLY, PRACTICE A RANGE OF COMPLEX SENTENCE FORMS (INDEPENDENT + DEPENEDENT CLAUSE). PRACTICE BOTH SUBORDINATING AND COORDINATING THE DEPENDENT CLAUSES.
AND THAT'S ALL YOU NEED...A RANGE OF SIMPLE AND COMPLEX SENTENCE FORMS. IF YOU WANT TO GET A LITTLE ADVENTUROUS, THEN INCLUDE WHAT I TERM A STATIC COMPOUND SENTENCE THAT WOULD LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
Understanding brain development phase information clearly supports my contention that it is best to begin learning foreign language at
primary school; moreover, as I have also argued, early exposure to a foreign language is also very advantageous for the learner.
SO, 'MYIELTSTEST' PLS LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, AND IF YOU'D BE KIND ENOUGH TO ALLOW ME TO POST THIS SAMPLE + COMMENTS (DEIDENTIFIED OF COURSE!) ON MY WEBSITE AND BLOG? Cheers,