Topic on advertising. Please help me reduce the word count

[yhjsaber]

Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The world that we live in today is dominated by advertising. Adverts are on TV, on the Internet, in the newspapers and even on our mobile phones. It is impossible for anyone to escape the influence of advertising. Thus, this has triggered spirited debate over whether advertising plays a positive or negative role in people’s life. This essay will discuss both views before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

There are two main reasons why it can be argued that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Firstly, advertising is one of the most efficient ways of informing people of better products and services. For instance, anyone with a TV or a device that has access to the Internet could be instantly updated with information about greener car models or better health services. The increasing use of these products and services due to advertising can be beneficial to the environment and our lives. Secondly, with the view to attracting consumers, adverts must be made appealing. This encourages people who work in the advertising industry to become more innovative. As a result, their skills and employability could be improved, which makes them more attractive to more prospective employers. As seen above, it is clear that advertising can have positive effects on people’s life.

However, I would agree with the view that the effects of advertising are not always positive. Many adverts tend to exaggerate the capabilities of certain products in an attempt to seduce customers to make a purchase. For example, many young people have developed the tendency to pursuit newest IPhone models because Apply deliberately overstate the improvements made to the latest models. This results in many people suffer from financial problems owing to they regularly spend money on such expensive products. In addition, it is not uncommon to see that fast food and alcoholic products are frequently advertised on TV and in newspapers. If not controlled, advertising of such products would likely cause negative impact on the society, as excessive consumption of any of these could lead to health problems such as diabetes and high blood pressure. Having considered these two facets, it makes clear that the negative effects of advertising are also evident.

In conclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that advertising can bring benefits to the environment and our lives, my own view is that the prevalence of advertising can sometime have harmful effects. Thus, certain measures and policies should be implemented to minimize the negative effects of advertising and promote the benefits it brings.

[andytruong1202]

Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Advertising dominates the world we live today. Adverts are on TV, on the Internet, in newspapers and even on our mobile phones. It is impossible for anyone to escape from the influence of advertising. Thus, this has triggered a spirited debate over whether advertising plays a positive or negative role in people’s lives. This essay will discuss both views before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

There are two main reasons why it can be argued that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Firstly, advertising is one of the most efficient ways of informing people of better products and services. For instance, anyone with a TV or a device that has access to the Internet could be instantly updated with information about greener car models or better health services. The increasing use of these products and services due to advertising can be beneficial to the environment and our lives. Secondly, with the view to attracting consumers, adverts must be made appealing. This encourages people who work in the advertising industry to become more innovative. As a result, their skills and employability could be improved, which makes them more attractive to more prospective employers. As seen above, it is clear that advertising can have positive effects on people’s lives.

However, I would agree with the view that the effects of advertising are not always positive. Many adverts tend to exaggerate the capabilities of certain products in an attempt to seduce customers to make a purchase. For example, many young people have developed the tendency to pursuit the newest IPhone models because Apple deliberately overstates the improvements being made to the latest models. This results in many people suffer from financial problems owing to the fact that they regularly spend money on such expensive products. In addition, it is not uncommon to see that fast food and alcoholic products are frequently advertised on TV and in newspapers. If not controlled, advertising of such products would likely cause negative impacts on society, as excessive consumption of any of these could lead to health problems such as diabetes and high blood pressure. Having considered these two facets, it makes clear that the negative effects of advertising are also evident.

In conclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that advertising can bring benefits to the environment and our lives, my own view is that the prevalence of advertising can sometimes have harmful effects. Thus, certain measures and policies should be implemented to minimize the negative effects of advertising and promote the benefits it brings.

A good essay. What score did you get in the last exam?

[durai]

Hi Yhjsaber,


Just use only one example per supporting paragraph, that will do

Durai

[yhjsaber]

Hi andytruong1202,

Thank you for your efforts to correct my essay. I received 7 on writing last time I took the test. I definitely have improved but I think this essay would not exced band 8. There are many sentences and words looking unatural according to a native speaker. Besides, I wrote way more that 250 words, so I am afraid that I cannot write this good in the real test. I have one month left before the next test and I will have to score band 8 on each section. If you have any good methods to write more concisely, I would really appreciate that.

[andytruong1202]

Hi andytruong1202,

Thank you for your efforts to correct my essay. I received 7 on writing last time I took the test. I definitely have improved but I think this essay would not exced band 8. There are many sentences and words looking unatural according to a native speaker. Besides, I wrote way more that 250 words, so I am afraid that I cannot write this good in the real test. I have one month left before the next test and I will have to score band 8 on each section. If you have any good methods to write more concisely, I would really appreciate that.

In my personal opinion, this essay would be at band 7 - 7.5+. My best achievement is just at band 7.5 so I can't tell how to get an 8. However, you could try to write this essay within 40min, and shorten your essay (this one is about 410 words, you could be penalized for it). You could do this by jumping into the topic rather than going round and round.

[AmitSahoo]

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[saqibali]

Why not try one time youself?This will help more?
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