task 2 < anyone there?>

[durai]

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a great role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just good as women in parenting.
To what extent do you agree?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Over the last decade, the responsibility of bringing up the children among parents has significantly increased the world over. While some opine that women are better in parenting, others claim that men are also found to be equal in raising the young people. To my mind, the women are considered to be good parents than men. To prove this thesis true, women’s attachment with the young ones and the character of mother will be analyzed.

First and foremost, mother and child are close to each other because of the bond created between them since the time of conception. A vivid example is that the mother bears a child in her womb for ten months; even this means there is a natural emotional feeling between them. Lactation is also one of the reasons for this intimacy which develops day by day. Side by side, mother influences child when stays at home for childbearing and child rearing.

Another factor that deserves attention is the characters of women, and majority of them are empathetic and tolerant nature. They handle less aggressive measures to solve problems with their little ones than their father. The possible illustration is when my niece, who is 5 years old, did something wrong. So his father was scolding and beating him. Eventually, his mother stopped and gave advice to her son in a peaceful and relaxed manner. Thus, sympathy and kindness attract adolescence more to their mother.

At the end of the day, it is clear that women make better parents because of their attitude and closeness towards juveniles. Therefore, women are better than their male counterpart in growing up the children.

[wmx870912]

hi there
i believe the example u utilized in the 3rd paragraph is too personal, so it is not persuasive to support your topic sentence in this paragraph.

[durai]

Hi ,

I do have same doubt, but in my last test I got band 7, still I used my personal examples in both supporting paragraphs,

To be honest, I am not sure, what to do?

As you said, I try to avoid too personal examples, just to be on the safer side.

Durai

[wmx870912]

hi
i was told by an ielts examiner that ielts writing especially the academic one should try to avoid too personal example...

and i would appreciate if u can give me some advise about my essay "writing need grading' , i just posted it this afternoon

mx

[andytruong1202]

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a great role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just good as women in parenting.
To what extent do you agree?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Over the last decade, the responsibility of bringing up children among parents has significantly increased the world over. While some opine that women are better in parenting, others claim that men are also found to be equal in raising the young people. To my mind, women are considered to be better parents than men. To prove this thesis true, women’s attachment with the young ones and the character of mother will be analyzed.

First and foremost, a mother and a child are very close to each other because of the bond created between them since the time of conception. A vivid example is that the mother bears a child in her womb for ten months; even this means there is a natural emotional feeling between them. Lactation is also one of the reasons for this intimacy which develops day by day. Side by side, the mother influences the child when she stays at home for childbearing and child rearing.

Another factor that deserves attention is the characters of women, and majority of them are empathetic and tolerant in nature. They take less aggressive measures to solve problems with their little ones than their husband. A possible illustration is when my niece, who is 5 years old, did something wrong so her father started scolding and beating her. Eventually, her mother stopped the father and gave advice to her (you said "niece" in the first place.) in a peaceful and relaxed manner (How did this solve the problem?). Thus, sympathy and kindness attract adolescence more to their mother.

In conclusion, it is clear that women make better parents because of their attitudes and closeness towards juveniles. Therefore, women are better than their male counterpart in raising the children.

A good essay overall.