General Writing Task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?


There is a reason why there are separate set of laws and judicial proceedings for minors and adults. This separation stems from the fact that individuals under the age of 18 do not have the full-formed personal character, emotional repertoire, and awareness of law and societal mores that adults have.

It’s no wonder, then, that there is a common consensus to deem anyone under 18 a child.

The growth of a human being undergoes stages of different intensities and varying requirements. When a child is first born, he is completely dependent on his parents or caregivers for physiological functions and day to day activities. But as he grows from an infant to a toddler to an elementary school student, he begins to shed this dependency gradually and determinedly. At a certain point, he’ll be able to feed himself, or go to the bathroom on his own. This is the result of the cognitive powers of a child at work; children are impressionable, and they’ll pick up things real fast.

However, this impressionability is a double-edged sword. Because the discerning powers of a child are not fully formed, he or she needs constant guidance and counseling from both parents, school teachers and all the adults in their immediate support system. Because of the pervasiveness of technology and communications, children of today experience a higher exposure to daily news than they did fifty or hindered years ago. Especially with the ubiquitous internet, they can follow their idol singer more easily on social media, or get hooked to chat rooms and gossip boards. They may watch violent videos or read about upsetting events.

This constant hammering of information- as well as the traumatizing nature some of these events could have- these factors could lead the teenager to respond negatively. He or she will fail to understand the complexity of some events, or the moral dilemmas and the dichotomies of life. Only the presence of a loving, caring adult could enable a child or a teenager to interpret life events more correctly, and help him or her cope with the age of technology and the 24 hours broadcast of misery or platitudes on TV.

A friend of mine recently asked me: “is the world becoming worse? Look at the news, it’s all about disasters, natural and man-made.”

My reply way: “No, I don’t think the world is getting worse. The world has always been bad. But today we learn about its bad episodes faster”

To conclude, it is true that parents today are devoting less time to the upbringing of their children, but that’s only part of the story. The dynamics of information sharing are changing in our present-day society, and if adults are not around to help children understand it and analyze it correctly, they will not be able to grow their emotional capabilities to deal with conflict and adversities in their world.
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

I wrote this in 31 minutes on MS word. So I'll admit upfront that I would have messed up the spelling of words like "repertoire" if I was handwriting.

Also, I'll admit that I lost direction and rambled a bit towards the end.
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.
Which viewpoint do you agree with?


The 20th century has been identified by some psychologists as the “century of the self” because of the massive human development and the revolutionary change in the way individuals regarded themselves and were regarded by their societies.

In fact, “The century of the self” is the title of a BBC multi-series documentary that explored the psychology of the 20th century mass media. This leap in communication, coupled with a focus on the individual and his needs, produced the advertising industry, as we know it today.

Even though advertisement in its purest sense had not begun with the proliferation of home TV, the potential of seen and heard advertisement was extraordinary: For the first time, you can address people at their home, while they sat at their dinner table or living room sofa, receptive and unsuspecting. You are catching them while their guards are lowered, while their minds are passive and their critical thinking is at its least effective.

Companies realized this potential early on and latched on it, especially in the United Estate and Europe, where free markets were the norm. In most of the cases, companies were allowed to advertise freely. And the ability to produce an eye-catching, mind-grabbing advert had become imperative. Advertisement had become an industry of its own. And it employed all kinds of planners, strategists, copywriters, and psychologists. It learned how to tantalize the human mind and pander to its self-image and ego. It learned how to spin fancy one-liners, carry out campaigns and push the product its advertising beyond any rational limit. The product in an advertisement did not come alone: it was eased into your living room with a tender piece of music, along with the winning smile of a movie star or an renowned football player.

So of course advertising is manipulative and, to some extinct, deceitful. And it leads you to buy products you do not need, one way or the other. But the solution is not to ban it or curtail it; such repressive move would undermine the very concept of freedom democratic societies are built on. Companies are free to advertise, and the individual is free to reject or accept. At the same time, there should be measures in place as to how certain products are advertised. Products that are harmful to health should come with proper warnings within their advertising spiel. Components of children toys should be identified. Adverts of drugs and products with medicinal effects should also be subject to rigorous scrutiny.

In conclusion, the advertising industry is not responsible for all purchasing decisions, but it’s far from being innocent. Its sleek and manipulative adverts are bombarding us day and night. And the best way to counter the negative effects of mass advertisement is to educate the public to be alert and to remain critical. Also it’s important to teach children and adolescents that, while it’s acceptable to indulge a little, it’s also very important to manage one’s finances properly.
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

I wrote this in 35 minutes. Of course, writing on MS Word is entirely different story than writing with a pencil.

I also realize that this piece is far longer than the 250 words limit. But I'm really not sure how to deliver the idea with a less word-count.
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

So according to some folks here this is the general writing task -2- of the Ielts test this past weekend. I have to admit it's pretty tough subject because there isn't a lot you can say without digressing.

TASK 2:
Some people believe that travelling alone really benefits in learning a country's culture and experience, while others believe it is better to travel with someone you know.

Discuss both these views and share your opinion.


Whether backpacking through the Andeze or wandering along the promenades of Buddhist temples in South East Asia, traveling is one of the most enriching and entertaining experiences a human being could embark upon. With the rising living standards, cheaper airlines and enticing hotel deals, travel has become easier than ever.

The travel industry has been streamlined through agents and tour operators into packages and deals. If you are on a tour, your itinerary is already planned for you. You read in advance about the places you are going to visit. There is no element of surprise or spontaneity. You’re driven from the airport to your lodging. Hardly the “footloose” image of free-spirit and adventurous traveling you have always wanted to have.

However, traveling alone is not always the answer. When you are on a trip, you want to make it memorable. You want to make it count. And you want someone with you to make it memorable with. Whether it is a spouse or life-partner or a close friend, you want a like-minded person to share the experience and soak in the new, uncharted realms. A travel partner will help you along the way, alleviate the desolation of travel, and be a witness to the intrigues and excitements of foreign lands.

I have once been on a road trip with a group of friends. We drove through scenic mountains and evergreen forests. I remember having a stupendous time together. But at a certain point, I had to leave them and return to the city to attend to some business. And while I drove back through the same landscape and scenery, it did not feel the same as it did in the company of others.

If you are with someone, you can look out for and support each other. But if you are on your own, you have more freedom of movement and you can tailor your travel plan according to what you need.

In conclusion, traveling with a company is always preferable. But if that company can’t always be there for you when you want to travel, and if you feel adventurous enough to take on new frontiers, then there is no reason why you should not just pack your suitcase and take off.
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

According to Ryan's sources this is the Task 2 general writing in the latest ielts exam in Sydney. I have to say it's a weird question; why conflate changing of careers AND residences?! it's confusing for the writer and readers alike.

Anyway, here's my attempt. I'm trying to be conscious of word-count this time.

Task 2: An increasing number of people changed their career and place of residence several times in their life. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

An employed adult today is far more aware of his surroundings and the world at large. Geographical barriers are no longer an impediment to learning about far-flung places on earth. Having a certificate in one subject does not dictate that you have to exclusively work in an industry related to that subject. Life has much more to offer today, thanks to the internet, instantaneous communications and ease of travel.

Some people believe that this fast moving, ever-changing modern world is a positive development. I tend to agree with this assertion, but only to an extent. If a person feels he is not able to adapt to his society’s traditions and mores, he could simply find another community that is more accepting of – or at least tolerant to- his lifestyle and views. If an individual feels he is not realizing his full potential in a certain line of employment, then it is entirely rational to ponder other industries, and plan for a drastic shift in one’s career.

There are, however, some cautionary measures to be heeded. Some people argue that constant movement of one’s residence will not allow this person to grow personal connections and bonds that are necessary for everyone’s well-being. They claim that growing roots is important to one’s self-esteem and image. It is also argued that abrupt changing of career could lead to mediocre performance and inability to cultivate enough professional knowledge and experience to grow and evolve, career-wise. Thus, any plan that will beget significant change on one’s life should be thought about and analyzed rationally and calmly.

Even though human beings often feel tethered to the place where they were born, it shouldn’t be an obligation to stay there forever. Likewise, if a person is not comfortable in his or her job, it doesn’t make him or her less of a professional to ponder a move. At the end, mankind started out their quest for civilization as nomads. Incessant movement is not a stranger to their psyche.
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by allen_zhang »

What's your target score?
As I can see, you have much stronger vocabulary than me.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

allen_zhang wrote:What's your target score?
As I can see, you have much stronger vocabulary than me.
Hello Allen,

Thank you for reading and for the feedback. I got 8 on writing back in the 15th of March test. But sadly I got only 7.5 on speaking so I'm taking the test again. I'm trying to maintain the 8 band score for writing, or score even higher - if at all possible.
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by allen_zhang »

That makes sense! if you got less than 7, I would be extremely frustrated. I need 7. Generally, it seems to me, you are writing like a professional writer. I can see a soul in your essays, while I am still struggling on making my sentences understandable.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by allen_zhang »

Could you please help to check my essay below?

http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1087

:-)
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
durai
Posts: 401
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by durai »

Hi Allen,

I would like to say something to you.

As far as I know, it is not essential to use some dictionary words to score band 8, even if you check many Ielts band 9 essays many of them used only normal words, you can understand all words when you read. So what I am trying to say is not too worried about using highly sophisticated word.

Best example is Ryan's essay about classroom teacher, you can find on you tube.

So, just concentrate on task achievement and grammar accuracy. in regards to lexical resource , just try not to repeat words in an essay.

This is only in my point of view.

Durai
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by allen_zhang »

HI Durai,
Thanks for your advises.
In fact, I understand that I don't need that strong vocabulary to get the score I need. I was just impressed by Adam's essays. He is writing out of so called IELTS pattern and in a way I could never learn.


Best Regards!
Allen
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

allen_zhang wrote:That makes sense! if you got less than 7, I would be extremely frustrated. I need 7. Generally, it seems to me, you are writing like a professional writer. I can see a soul in your essays, while I am still struggling on making my sentences understandable.
Thanks for the kind words, Allen!

I've been reading and writing for years. Not in a professional capacity, though.

I think, with a little hard work, 7 is well within reach.
adam1979
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:14 pm

Re: General Writing Task 2

Post by adam1979 »

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles.
Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.


Leisure time, which is also known as free time, is called so because a person is free to spend it anyway he or she desires. It is entirely up to the individual to decide whether he would like to go fishing, read a book, participate in a public event, or just sit idle and relax at home.

Having said that, most people are open to suggestions as to how they could spend their leisure time. Today, there are websites and newsletters dedicated to informing people about public events, night life hot spots, and weekend pursuits.

Some argue that activities that require concentration and mental energy are best avoided at leisure time. Others suggest that leisure time should be spent improving one's knowledge and professional capabilities. I'm of the opinion that a little bit of both is the most ideal formula to apply to free time.

A good chunk of scientific research has been done on the subject of right -side versus left -side brain balance. It espouses that the right side of the brain is responsible for logic and rational analysis, while the left side undertakes to process feelings, passions, understanding of art and appreciation of music. Therefore, a proper strategy for spending leisure time is to address the side of the brain that is less engaged during week days and working hours. For example, if you are a career musician, it is vital that you spend some time reading light scientific material or solving brain quizzes. Likewise, if you are a mathematician it is advisable to listen to some classical music or look at pieces of art.

It should also be noted that outdoor activities such as hiking or jogging serve to augment both sides of the brain, as well as to allow you to unwind and recharge.

At the end of the day, whatever you decide to do in your free time, you should not feel pressure and it should be fun and engaging at the same time.
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