Help me, please

[cosminiulian]

Correct grammar mistakes and tell me what grade you think I can get with this essay.
Thanks

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strenght and weakness. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

There always were differences between males and females and it will always be, but I disagree with idea that to exclude males or females from certain proffesions because of their gender.
Companies who hire people should not look at their gender, in my view this is not an important thing. This thing should increase equality between genders. In the past was a considerable difference between genders, but now we live in a modern era and we have more equality.
For example, in the past we had more women theacers, or more politicians men. But now we can see numerous females who work in politics, or numerous male theacers.
Another example is that women many times are not hired in jobs like builder or engineer. I don't agree with this thing, I think are women aho can work like builder, even if this job is considered a man job and even if women don't have men strenght.
Another thing that I would like to say, a thing who in over the past years has increased equality between genders is poverty. Many parents leave their children home and they go to work. These parents are forced to be equal because they don't have another way. The good thing is that they earn money, but the disadvantage is that heir children grow up without parents. For they the only solution is to work only a parent.
In conclusion, we should not see many differences between genders as we see nowdays, but in my view there will always be.

[Ryan]

Hi cosminiulian,

Please follow some kind of structure when writing your essay. I think the very first thing you should do here is track down an essay structure online and practice writing in its style. I have several videos on essay structure at my YouTube page (http://www.youtube.com/user/englishryan). When you've got this structure down, come back here and post your writing again.