please evaluate my TASK 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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vinitm
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2014 2:52 pm
Location: Mumbai, India
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please evaluate my TASK 2

Post by vinitm »

Topic: The earth is being filled with waste material such as plastic bags and other rubbish. Is this really happening? What are some solutions to this problem?

Planet earth is the only natural habitat for the humans to live. With well oxygenated atmosphere and the presence of the ozone layer and water, earth just has all the favourable conditions to proliferate and flourish for the living beings. Due to the revolution for better technology in the recent past, humans have also developed an urge to have a better lifestyle. Day by day the use of non-degradable waste such as plastics and its various forms have been produced and used by humans, but now they do not know what to do when it comes to dumping it?. There is no proper waste management protocol for these kinds of non-degradable waste.

Plastics has become an integral part of the human society. Everything is now made out of plastic, things such as electronics(as it a bad conductor of electricity), vehicle parts, home appliances and fashion accessories. Though it is very useful, the concern is about its disposal. Although, plastic's principal constituent is Carbon, when it is burnt is releases harmful gases and toxins which can pollute the environment and because of the 'Thermosetting property'of plastics it is most likely to be non-recyclable. Due to the extensive use of plastic, production cannot be stopped because we neither have a better alternative for it.

Not only Plastic, other rubbish such as metal scraps, nuclear waste, rubber, glass etc. are also non-degradable upto a certain extent. For example, radioactive waste is buried in the earth's crust as it takes thousand of years to degrade fully. But what about the amount of plastic that the earth's surface carry? According to the stats of 2013, North America itself produced more than 250 million tons of plastic waste. For disposal of this plastic waste, a plan was proposed to dump all the rubbish in the outer space, but the idea was felt to be vague. Sweden on the other hand, is efficiently recycling their waste. plastics recycled to produce plastic raw material, glass is melted into new items. They believe waste is a relatively cheap fuel and hence import thousands of tons of waste from different countries.

In my opinion, plastic recycling is a method to decrease the production of new plastic but it has its own limits.
The world must look towards this matter and take it seriously so that our earth remains green and healthy.
Herwinnnn
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 7:21 am

Re: please evaluate my TASK 2

Post by Herwinnnn »

This is my correction for your essay :
Big letters = adding or changing the words
Bracket = addition or removal of words

Planet earth is the only natural habitat for ()humans to live. With well oxygenated atmosphere and the presence of the ozone layer and water, earth () has all the favourable conditions to proliferate and flourish for the living things. Due to the revolution for better technology in the recent past, humans have also developed an urge to have a better lifestyle. Day by day the use of non-degradable waste(,) such as plastics and its various forms(,) have been produced and used by humans, but, HOWEVER, they do not know what to do when it comes to dumping it. There is no proper waste management protocol for these kinds of non-degradable waste.

TO BEGIN WITH, Plastics HAVE become an integral part of the human society BECAUSE everything is now made out of plastic. FOR INSTANCE, () electronics(as it a bad conductor of electricity), vehicle parts, home appliances and fashion accessories. Though EFFICIENT, DISPOSAL IS STILL A MAJOR CONERN. SINCE plastic's principal constituent is Carbon, IT RELEASES harmful gases and toxins(,) which can pollute the environment, and because of the 'Thermosetting property' of plastics it(,) is most likely to be non-recyclable. Due to the extensive use of plastic, production cannot be stopped because we neither have a better alternative for it.

APART FROM Plastic ONLY, other rubbish(,) such as metal scraps, nuclear waste, rubber, glass etc. are also non-degradable upto a certain extent. For example, radioactive waste is buried in the earth's crust as it takes thousand of years to degrade fully. But what about the amount of plastic that the earth's surface carry? According to the stats of 2013, North America itself produced more than 250 million tons of plastic waste. For disposal of this plastic waste, a plan was proposed to dump all the rubbish in the outer space, but the idea was felt to be vague. Sweden(,) on the other hand, () efficiently RECYCLES their waste. Plastics recycled to produce plastic raw material, AND glass is melted into new items. They believe waste is a relatively cheap fuel and hence import thousands of tons of waste from different countries.

In my opinion, plastic recycling is a method to decrease the production of new plastic(,) but it has its own limits. The world must look towards this matter and take it seriously so that our earth WILL remain green and healthy.

This is my comment :

Encouragement :

-You do use rare and wide variety of words, so it helps you in Vocabulary section.
-You do use some complex and compound sentences although you fail to link some of the simple sentences together.
-You do mention about the causes of waste materials

Critics :

-You do not follow the structure of writing an IELTS essay. For example, for the introduction, you should've paraphrased the question given to you at first then next give your opinion. here are the recommendations for your improvement : 1.http://ieltsadvantage.com/writing-task-2/ (I strongly recommend this)
2.Follow RyanIELTS's video tutorial in youtube
-The solution given in this essay is too weak and short, which is very unlikely for you to gain high score

Conclusion :

Vocabulary is great, but improve on essay structure and sentences variety(use appropriate complex sentences)
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Flick
Grammar Checker
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Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: please evaluate my TASK 2

Post by Flick »

vinitm wrote:Topic: The earth is being filled with waste material such as plastic bags and other rubbish. Is this really happening? What are some solutions to this problem?

Earth is the only natural habitat for humans to live. With a well oxygenated atmosphere and the presence of the ozone layer and water, Earth has all the favourable conditions for life to proliferate and flourish. Due to the race for better technology in the recent past, humans have also developed an urge to have a better lifestyle. Day by day, the use of non-degradable waste such as plastic and its various forms has been produced and used by humans, but now we do not know what to do when it comes to dumping it. There is no proper waste management protocol for these kinds of non-degradable waste.

Plastics have become an integral part of the human society. Everything is now made out of plastic, including electronics (as it a bad conductor of electricity), vehicle parts, home appliances and fashion accessories. Though it is very useful, the concern is about its disposal. Although plastic's principal constituent is carbon, when it is burnt it releases harmful gases and toxins which can pollute the environment and because of the 'thermosetting property' of plastics it is most likely to be non-recyclable. Due to the extensive use of plastic, production cannot be stopped because we don't have a better alternative for it.

This issue affects not only plastic, but other rubbish such as scrap metal, nuclear waste, rubber, glass, etc., which are also non-degradable to a certain extent. For example, radioactive waste is buried in the earth's crust as it takes thousand of years to degrade fully. But what about the amount of plastic that the earth's surface carries? According to the stats of 2013, North America alone produced more than 250 million tons of plastic waste. For disposal of this plastic waste, a plan was proposed to dump all the rubbish in outer space, but the idea was felt to be too vague. Sweden, on the other hand, is efficiently recycling their waste. Plastics are recycled to produce plastic raw material, glass is melted into new items. They believe waste is a relatively cheap fuel and hence import thousands of tons of waste from different countries.

In my opinion, plastic recycling is a method to decrease the production of new plastic but it has its own limits.
The world must look towards this matter and take it seriously so that our earth remains green and healthy.
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