please give honest comment on areas of improvement

[krish8286]

Unemployment has become an increasing problem in the recent past.
What factors contribute to an increase in unemployment and what steps can be taken to solve the problem?

Unemployment is increasing at an alarming rate the world over. Although there are many factors that contribute to this , it is believed that illiteracy and shift in skill requirement is causing this. To tackle this issues innovative teaching strategies and skill upgradation of existing workers will be analyzed in this essay.

Firstly, it is without a doubt true that people with no education are more unemployed. In Nepal , for instance, people in the remote hilly regions in particular, get less opportunities for education as there are hardly any higher educational institutions due to poor infrastructure , and therefore are facing an unemployment crisis. To solve this situation , an online education campaign by the government of Nepal could be a proposed solution. With such an initiative educational opportunities will be available at peoples' door-steps. This will significantly increase the literacy level among rural citizens and their chances of employment will be better. Thus, it could be seen how innovative teaching methods could reduce unemployment.

In addition to this, nowadays most people are made redundant because their skills are antiquated. Take the example of craft artists of Nepal. As more and more art forms today are computerized ,it is difficult for Nepalese hand artist to compete with their international counterparts, and as a consequence are facing joblessness. A possible solution here could be to upgrade their skills by educating them on how to use computerized designs in their art work, and thus make them more competitive. Therefore, there are plausible benefits to skill upgradation.

After looking at how educating the illiterate and less skilled people catalyze the chances of employment, it is hoped that these strategies , if practiced properly, would combat the current unemployment crisis.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Basically a good essay. I think that you have made two good main points, though being a little more specific would be good, e.g. how does illiteracy cause unemployment.

Very good grammar and vocabulary. You have used a wide range of structures and meaning is always clear.

Well done!
David