PLEASE KINDLY ASSESS MY WRITING TASK 2 - DEPLETION OF NATURAL RESOURCES

[hollanda]

Consumption of the world’s resources(such as oil, fresh water, etc) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are these causes of the increased consumption? what can people do to reduce it?

The overconsumption of global natural resources is the major cause of concern in many countries across the whole world these days. This problem stems from several reasons, and various measures could be taken by the government to improve the situation.

The depletion of the Earth’s resources can be attributed to two fundamental reasons. Firstly, highly demanded resources, such as oil, coal and natural gas, are the main sources of energy for many industries. Chief among those can be airline industry and automobile industry, which consumes thousands of billions of tons of oil and natural gas each year. In addition, since they are among those fastest growing industries, the demands are continuing to rise dramatically. Secondly, the increasing world population also puts pressure on natural resources. The greater population means higher demands for fresh water, land and food. As the result, the scarcity of fresh water and massive deforestation can be seen due to the development of residential areas in many places over the world.

Fortunately, several measures could be adopted to reduce the overexploitation of natural resources. The most effective one would be for the government to promote sustainable development and the use of renewable energy. If instead of fossil fuels, wind power, nuclear energy and solar power are encouraged in the manufacturing process of leading industries, not only the demand for conventional sources will be cut down but the level of environmental pollution also will be declined. A long-term solution would be to launch campaigns in order to heighten public awareness of the detrimental effects of overusing natural resources. Citizens should recognize the importance and necessity of reusing fresh water for several times, recycling packaging and saving electricity power as soon as possible.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for the alarming consumption of natural resources, and a number of actions need to be taken to alleviate this problem.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello Hollanda!

I think that this essay is good on the causes, but leaves the solutions aspect undeveloped / incomplete. If the solutions are as simple as you make them seem, why haven't they been done already? You haven't looked at cost, for example. Also, despite what environmentalists tell you, these alternative forms of energy use a lot of resources. Where do you think those wind turbines and solar panels come from?

As I said, a good essay, but you could really boost it by going a step further.

All the best,
David

[rzz]

Consumption of the world’s resources(such as oil, fresh water, etc) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are these causes of the increased consumption? what can people do to reduce it?


Natural resources like oil, fresh water, natural gas etc are basic necessities for human existence and recently various studies have shown rapid depletion of valuable natural resources. In this essay we are going to discuss different reasons of increased consumption and how people can contribute to save natural resources and leave the safe future for their generations.


**** Please rate the introduction of my essay *****

In reasons i had plan to cover reasons of depletion,

1. Increasing population
2. Careless attitude towards bulk availability of natural resources

What people can do

1. Setting some strategy to deal with increasing population
2. Driving awareness sessions among people for realization of valuable resources.
3. More focus towards recycling
4. Discovery of alternatives where possible.




Thanks.

[hollanda]

Hi David,

Thank you for your feedback on my essay.
Honestly, I have very limited knowledge and information about these problems. Even if I was asked to write this topic by my native language, I for sure would just come up with these ideas. But from what I know, IELTS writing is mainly to assess candidates' writing ability (vocab, grammar..), not knowledge, is it right? I mean it's necessary to produce relevant solutions for the problems, but still for me, to propose a perfect solution in 40 minutes is far from achievable. What would you say about the solution for the overconsumption of natural resources in industries?

I hope to hear from you soon. Again, many thanks for your great help.

Regards,
Hollanda