Essay Evaluation Task 2 Writing

[Owais]

Topic: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Crime rate in every country may be different but undoubtedly, no country is crime-free. Be it minor delinquencies or serious offenses, almost every country face them. However, there is a bifurcation of opinions about devising punishment for each crime. Some claim that all criminals charged with the same crime should be sentenced equally. Other, however, believe that before deciding punishment for the offender, the background situation and motivation behind the crime should be taken into consideration. This essay will expound both points of view before drawing a conclusion.

Those who are gravitated towards fixed punishment for each kind of crime back up their opinion by a number of reasons. More importantly, every criminal should be dealt with equally. It is only then, that justice will prevail. Besides, a murderer is a murderer. The motivation behind his crime doesn’t abate the damage caused by his crime. Therefore, enacting stringent and straightforward laws for crime-punishment is better to discourage the criminals regardless of their ulterior motives.

On the contrary, those who refute this idea present some counter arguments to advocate their claim. They believe, fixing punishment for each offense will not do justice to the offenders. For example, a theft committed on purpose, out of bad habit should not be compared with a theft committed out of sheer necessity. To elaborate further, someone stealing food because he has not eaten for three days is not the same as someone stealing habitually. Moreover, a further insight into the background situation and motives of the crime will help understand the root causes of the issues which will assist in formalizing and implementing strategies on a grass-root level to eradicate such crimes from society. For example, if a government knows that many people steal food because they are hungry, it would eliminate hunger to reduce petty theft crimes.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that a thorough analysis of the background of the crime and its ulterior motives should be dug before punishing the criminals so as to know and remedy the root causes of many crimes.


Regards
Owais

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello Owais,
The introduction is a little long, but still good. The main paragraphs contain good arguments, clearly expressed. The conclusion is fine, although I'm not sure about 'dug'.
Overall, very good grammar and vocab.
Well done!
David

[Owais]

Thank you David for your time.

Regards
Owais