Essay evaluation

[vishwa]

The idea of students assessing their teachers is a good one or not, what is your opinion.

Teachers demand admiration and respect from their students. Traditionally, their duty is imparting knowledge and assessing the students. Now, the idea of reversal of roles that is teachers’ assessment by students receives the mixed response.
Teachers are known to have more knowledge than students, they are embodiments of knowledge, hence, the students assessing teachers may received as sense of insolence by the teachers. Moreover, most of the teachers instinctively resent this proposal. At times, some notorious students might give false assessment of their teachers for the sake of enjoyment and fun. Therefore, this idea seems to be unwise and some may argue not to implement such faulty methods to test teachers and insult them.
On the other hand, teachers would know about their shortcoming to improve wherever essential and always try gain more information. Furthermore, teachers would update themselves in the field of their subject as well. By this new assessment criterion, students would be benefitted with the better teachers to gain knowledge. Hence, it is a welcome note.
In conclusion, I opine that, students should be definitely given a chance to assess their teachers on condition that both teachers and students should take it as a method of appraisal rather than a mode of criticism.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello again, Vishwa!

Introduction - Basically good, but I would change the first sentence. I don't think most teachers demand admiration. Many demand respect, but most earn it.

First paragraph - I wouldn't say teachers are the 'embodiment' of knowledge. That suggests we know everything!

The rest is fine, but I would try to develop the points a little more. For example "gain more information" - what information exactly? What kind of criteria could students assess their teachers on? Good vocabulary, a fairly good range of structures and not too many grammatical mistakes.

Looking forward to your next essay (or an extended version of this one?),
David

[vishwa]

Hello,

Here is an essay on free health care.

Every government has a duty to provide free health care for its people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of government providing free health care?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Healthy people build the healthy society, one should take care of one’s health but the people below poverty line could not certainly afford the expenses of medical checkups. Hence, in this case, the free health care could be very much helpful. However, there are certain drawbacks in providing free medical care.
Today, because of the advancements in science and technology, one is able to determine any health abnormality at the gross level itself. The benefits of cost less medical examination include several things. Generally, it is a human tendency to postpone visiting to a hospital as it would be usually expensive. Hence, if government provides free health care to its citizens then every one could take an advantage of it. By doing so, in few cases, a person suffering from any severe health problem will be able to be diagnosed at the right time and consequently the disease can be treated properly. Next, these free medical centers are highly useful for pregnant ladies, in order to look after both mother and the growing baby. Finally, the vaccines given at these centers would protect baby from the dangerous diseases by making it immune towards all the micro-organisms. Owing to the mentioned reasons, it is obvious that, free health care would become a boon for the most citizens of a country.
However, some other people may consider these free health camps to be disadvantageous. They consider it as a moot issue. It is certainly possible that, the concerned corrupt authorities could make use of the funds allotted for the medical checkups by the governments in a wrong way. As a result, the financial burden on a country rises. Moreover, few people may get habituated to visit hospital for simple silly reasons and at times, one may overuse the free medicines available and get resist to that medicine which is very drastic. Eventually, the provided free health care could prove to be harmful.
By taking into consideration all the points, it is clear that any thing in excess is disadvantageous. The same is true in this case as well. What I believe is that, instead of free medical care, government should impose the affordable money and the first priority must be given to the patient’s health.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi Vishwa,

Introduction - Good. I like the mention of people below the poverty line.

First main paragraph - At the 'gross' level? A few good examples - nice!

Second main paragraph - There's that word 'moot' again, used incorrectly! The issue of corruption is true, but can be applied in any situation where government spends money. Besides, it is fairly easily dealt with by having open government accounts.

Conclusion - Good.

Overall, a few minor issues, but not bad at all! Good vocab and a range of structures, including complex ones.

All the best,
David