plzz check my writing task 2

[jaggi7921]

Topic- Some argue that younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea.

Government jobs carry with them many hard responsibilities. It is said that influential government jobs should be reserved for the senior and experience workers, whereas others feel that young workers can handle this position very well. This essay will look at both sides before drawing a logical conclusion.

On the one hand, many people argue that young people are incapable for the government jobs, they think that theses are inexperience and often dn't have any field knowledge. that is to say the person who is operating at senior level's in constitution job usually require field experience to prevent disastrous decision that could cause the huge lose of country. However, younger workers more likely to use their theoretical knowledge while taking any decision instead of practical acquisition. Thus, it is understandable why many feel these people should be incubated before promoting them to any important position.

On the other hand, some people believes that young people is best for highest position in the country military, because they have a fresh ideas and had the ability to perform work effectively. For instance, in 2013 young government worker started many health campaign to create the awareness among the people to make them health-conscious and these campaigns achieve satisfying response. This is the reason why people support them. Moreover, there is a screening as well as aptitude test for any senior government job,which is very hard to pass. Thus, the person who pass this test should be promoted to the senior level in country military post without any age discrimination.

In conclusion, I would like to say that young people have the capability to reach at the most top level in government jobs might be after some training programs. Hence, the age should not be considered during the hiring process.

[Paul Davey]

Your introduction is great.
Here's a look at B1: