URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS RATE

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Robeena
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:06 pm

URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS RATE

Post by Robeena »

Dear, EVERYONE! I have my IELTS test aftertomorrow on Saturday, January 17th ! so I just want anyone to rate my task 1 response whether it is a band 5 or 6 or 7 etc !!! just to feel comfortable and not worry plus correct my misakes which i have before its too latee!!!! :(

Here is my response! and the TASK 1 QUESTION is on http://www.ielts.org ... which is the only task one bar chart question on it..
here is the link for it if you wanna save time searching for it http://www.ielts.org/PDF/120430_academi ... ask_1A.pdf
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The bar chart above illustrates the number of British students (male, female) in further education in three different years, divided into two groups, either obtaining a full-time or part-time education.

Overall, female students by far has seen the highest rate of education and their level of education swelled by time. By contrast, figures for male part-time education seekers fluctuated over the period.

Looking at the graph, a tremendous difference was seen between the fulltime and the partime education . In 1970/71, the rate of of male part time learners was higher than full time learners by over 85%, 1million and 100 thousand students were noted, respectively. However this figure shrunk to approximately 850thousand students in 1980/81 for those who chose part time education, whereas there was a slight increase in the number of full time students to about 150 thousand. In 1990/91, the number of part time students recovered to about 900 thousand, while the full time students figure rose to 230thousand.

Finally, increasing figures were recorded for female students whether having part time or full time education. Starting from 780thousand part time students and 50thousand for the full time in 1970/71 to 1100,000 and 230 thousand respectively, where part time students were at its peak.
Last edited by Robeena on Thu Jan 15, 2015 4:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
Robeena
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:06 pm

Re: URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS

Post by Robeena »

1100,000 and 230 thousand respectively in 1990/91*******
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
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Re: URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Robeena wrote:Dear, EVERYONE! I have my IELTS test aftertomorrow on Saturday, January 17th ! so I just want anyone to rate my task 1 response whether it is a band 5 or 6 or 7 etc !!! just to feel comfortable and not worry plus correct my misakes which i have before its too latee!!!! :(

Here is my response! and the TASK 1 QUESTION is on http://www.ielts.org ... which is the only task one bar chart question on it..
here is the link for it if you wanna save time searching for it http://www.ielts.org/PDF/120430_academi ... ask_1A.pdf
----------------------------------------

The bar chart above illustrates the number of British students (male, female) in further education in three different years, divided into two groups, either obtaining a full-time or part-time education.

Overall, female students by far has seen the highest rate of education and their level of education swelled by time. By contrast, figures for male part-time education seekers fluctuated over the period.

Looking at the graph, a tremendous difference was seen between the fulltime and the partime education . In 1970/71, the rate of of male part time learners was higher than full time learners by over 85%, 1million and 100 thousand students were noted, respectively. However this figure shrunk to approximately 850thousand students in 1980/81 for those who chose part time education, whereas there was a slight increase in the number of full time students to about 150 thousand. In 1990/91, the number of part time students recovered to about 900 thousand, while the full time students figure rose to 230thousand.

Finally, increasing figures were recorded for female students whether having part time or full time education. Starting from 780thousand part time students and 50thousand for the full time in 1970/71 to 1100,000 and 230 thousand respectively, where part time students were at its peak.
Quite good - careful of basic errors and check carefully.

A lot of repitition and start sentences with complex words:

time 15
students 10
education 8

The bar chart ("beneath") above illustrates the number of British students (male, female) in further education in three different years, divided into two groups, either obtaining a full-time or part-time education.

Overall, female students by far ("have") has seen the highest rate of education and their level of education swelled by time. By contrast, figures for male part-time education seekers fluctuated over the period.

Looking at the graph, a tremendous difference was seen between the ("full-time") fulltime and the ("part-time) partime education. In 1970/71, the rate of of male ("part-time") part time learners was higher than ("full-time") full time learners by over 85%(";"), 1 million and ("100,000") 100 thousand students were noted, respectively. However this figure shrunk to approximately ("850,000") 850thousand students in 1980/81 for those who chose ("part-time) part time education, whereas there was a slight increase in the number of ("full-time") full time students to about ("150,000") 150 thousand. In 1990/91, the number of ("part-time") part time students recovered to about ("900,000") 900 thousand, while the ("full-time") full time students figure rose to ("230,000") 230thousand.

Finally, increasing figures were recorded for female students whether having ("part-time") part time or ("full-time") full time education(",") . Starting from ("780,000") 780 thousand ("part-time") part time students and ("50,000") 50thousand for the ("full-time") full time in 1970/71 to (?)1100,000 and ("230,000") 230 thousand respectively, where ("part-time) part time students were at ("their") its peak.
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Robeena
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Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:06 pm

Re: URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS

Post by Robeena »

Thanks OnlineEnglishTeacher a lot for giving time correcting my response a lot!! This really meant a lot to me!! I don't know how to thank you... I will really try to not repeat the words! And use the numbers correctly as well as the tense!...
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
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Re: URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Robeena wrote:Thanks OnlineEnglishTeacher a lot for giving time correcting my response a lot!! This really meant a lot to me!! I don't know how to thank you... I will really try to not repeat the words! And use the numbers correctly as well as the tense!...
Let us know how you get on. :-)
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