Topic of gender, please assess, especially the word choice

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yhjsaber
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:13 am

Topic of gender, please assess, especially the word choice

Post by yhjsaber »

Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Indeed, the increasing importance of gender equality has encouraged many organisations to provide equal opportunities to both males and females. Whether or not such trend leads to positive developments surely depends on the type of businesses a company runs.

Admittedly, the rise in the number of employers who value female and male employees equally indicates that sexual equality is well recognised in society. Both men and women are not restricted in their choice of occupations because sex, as a criterion for certain jobs, is no longer the most considered. Such a phenomenon is not only beneficial to society in the sense that the public can be free of sexual confinement, but also to many organisations in a way that it is easier to construct a balanced workforce to promote productivity. A sense of freedom experienced by the public and better adaptability attained by many companies show that the aforementioned policy does have positive influences.

However, mechanically adopting such a policy is also associated with many risks. Blindly pursuing the goal of achieving same portion of male and female workers can, on some level, impede the growth of a company. Businesses, for example, focusing on decisiveness, creativity and labour force are better suited for man. It would be a drawback if women, who are generally recognised as more sentimental and less muscular than men, are largely employed in these companies. The same disadvantage would also be faced by garment industries emphasising on precision, patience and beauty if excessive men are employed. In this respect, the percentage of men and women in a company should be closely related to the properties of its businesses.

In conclusion, although employing equal percentage of men and women is a sign for an improved gender equality in society, it is better for a company to adaptively adjust its workforce composition to attain maximum economical growth rate.
irmak
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2015 10:39 pm

Re: Topic of gender, please assess, especially the word choi

Post by irmak »

According to me, the structure is good . You also used large range of words. Did you reach over 250 words?
yhjsaber
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:13 am

Re: Topic of gender, please assess, especially the word choi

Post by yhjsaber »

irmak wrote:According to me, the structure is good . You also used large range of words. Did you reach over 250 words?
311 words
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Topic of gender, please assess, especially the word choi

Post by Flick »

yhjsaber wrote:Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Indeed, the increasing importance of gender equality has encouraged many organisations to provide equal opportunities to both males and females. Whether or not such a trend leads to positive developments surely depends on the type of business a company runs.

Admittedly, the rise in the number of employers who value female and male employees equally indicates that sexual equality is well recognised in society. Both men and women are unrestricted in their choice of occupation because sex, as a criterion for certain jobs, is no longer the most considered. Such a phenomenon is not only beneficial to society in the sense that the public can be free of sexual confinement, but also to many organisations in a way that it is easier to construct a balanced workforce to promote productivity. A sense of freedom experienced by the public and better adaptability attained by many companies show that the aforementioned policy does have positive influences.

However, adopting such a policy is also associated with many risks. Blindly pursuing the goal of achieving the same portion of male and female workers can, on some level, impede the growth of a company. Businesses, for example, focusing on decisiveness, creativity and labour force are better suited for male employees. It would be a drawback if women, who are generally recognised as more sentimental and less muscular than men, are largely employed in these companies. The same disadvantage would also be faced by garment industries emphasising precision, patience and beauty if excessive numbers of men are employed. In this respect, the percentage of men and women in a company should be closely related to the properties of its business.

In conclusion, although employing equal percentage of men and women is a sign for improved gender equality in society, it is better for a company to adjust its workforce composition to attain maximum economical growth rate.
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