PLEASE GRADE THIS.. REQUEST GUYS ASAP

[argho1985]

Question) Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

People's view about whether to continue in the same job or look for different job opportunity has been a topic of interest for many years.It has been generalised that associating with the same company for a longer period of time has some longer benefits, however in order to progress in the corporate ladder with ability to work in different roles, some people believe that, it is better to accept challenging roles time to time. I, personally believe that both the argument have positives
and negatives and with regards to it, this essay will analyse the both sides and will end in conclusion.

To begin with, often older age group people are the segments who are seen working in the organisation for a long period of time.For them, security and long term stability acts as a important tool to be successful in corporate life.They are less adaptable to changes and needs a longer time to be a part of the organisational team. For example, government offices in India covers majority of old aged persons who are working for more than 10 years towards the upliftment of the organisation. This results in organisation becoming dependent on them. No matter this can be a advantage for short term but on a longer term it is a big disadvantage for the organisation which gets low resistant towards business expansion.Adding to it, from the personality development side, these people are less competitive as compared to younger group who are risk takers.

Furthermore, other side of the argument is also true, as with the advent of globalisation, people are changing their work from time to time in order to fit themselves in different social and corporate settings. This segment cover the younger demographics who are analytical, logical and often wants to associate themselves in handing different projects. This results in making them overall competitive in the corporate market. Younger crowd often have the urge to learn and
have the capability of attention to detail which makes them developing a negotiation attitude. For instance, a market research survey by Roy Morgan pointed that, around 80% of the Australian young crowd develops skills in their first job and after gaining they use those skills in the next job. This results, in enhancing their personality and level of knowledge.

Therefore, it is clear that, people's view of whether to continue in the same job or change depends upon the age group and the behavioural characteristics. It is true that, old segments often choose to stay in the same job as they are resistant to changes whereas younger market have the skills and behavioural traits which makes them competitive overall. It is recommended that, older group should cooperate with younger market by getting themselves knowledgeable with the recent
skills and development.

PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS GUYS ASAP

THANKS
ARGHO

[argho1985]

Hi Ryan and Flick,

Can you please grade the essay write up which I had posted a couple of days back in my previous post in this thread. Its weird that no one is replying.

Hope to get a reply.

Thanks
Argho

[durai]

Hi Argho,

I found your essay is too big : 465 words....inseatd of 270 words...don't go more than 280 ( my ideal size for task 2, you can write good essay within that words, follow Ryan's model, all his essay fit the same template- around 15 sentences

intro- 4 sentences 50 words
1st support - 4 sentences 90 words
2nd support 4 sent 90 words
conclusion- 3 sent 40 words total of 270 ( good size)

also, if you write more, then examiners may not be comfortable with your writing, of course, it is not in the band description to penalise for writing more words, more sentences- more mistakes-more likely you get low marks

for example, your second sentence in the intro is more 50 words in length, at the end of reading that line i wasn't sure of what you trying to say,

marks would be high even if you write concisely, because the examiner knows what you exactly trying to inform. Simply don't go more than 20 words, unless the sentence is very simple to understand.

here i wrote intro for the question:

Over the last decade, the number of employment oppurtunities has significantly increased the world over. While some opine that a person should stay in the same job for years, others believe that changing jobs on a regular basis would be beneficial to individuals. This essay will analyse both sides without any prejudice.


your task response in the 1st supporting para is bit deviated, you were talking about old people, here you should dealt with why people stay in the same job, may be they get...promotions and offers where number of years of experience in a company is the criteria. For example, to appoint as a manager of Aldi stores, Melbourne, he/she needs to work for at least 6 years in the customer service department of the same store. In such circumstances, working for a long time at the same job is a big advantage to the employee.

try to focus the task question...and substantiate with reasons and examples..

Ielts essay is quite easy if you follow certain structures...

POST YOUR ESSAY IN 280 WORDS, I LOOK AT IT..

Good luck..

[argho1985]

Hi Durai,

Thanks for the comments..

The main reason of why I wrote old people in first supporting para is.. I started the para identifying the sector or age group who stays in job for a long time. The reason why they stay in jobs because they are less adaptable to changes, for them security and stability are the major reason why they stay.. similarly I did with second para too.. younger crowd are the one who keeps on changing jobs ..

I will try to cut down on words as prescribed by you.

Thanks a lot..

Argho