Please review my work and comment. Thank you :-)

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acer05
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon May 26, 2014 4:31 pm

Please review my work and comment. Thank you :-)

Post by acer05 »

Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Goverments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your views?

Response:

Today, climate change has been more apparent and destructive. Its effects can be felt all over the world which seems to generate debates over which one is responsible to alleviate this situation. Is it the governments or the individuals? It is believed that individuals should do their part in order to save the planet from further catastrophes brought about by climate change. To support this, ways in which an ordinary citizen can help turn the tables on climate change will be elaborated in this essay.

Firstly, a common member of society can help change the direction of climate change by recycling. To illustrate this, in cities like New York, ordinary fellows are encouraged to collect plastic bottles and soda cans to be recycled in several stations. Doing this would decrease the amount of non-biodegradable materials being dumped in creeks or burnt in open spaces. In effect, this would lower carbon gases being diffused in our atmosphere. This act is, indeed, a significant manifestation on how recycling can be a tool to halt climate change. This is why the idea of individuals being the first line to battle climate change is affirmed.

In addition to recycling, a man or woman's will to refuse patronization of petroleum products could have a tremendous effect on changing the path of climate change. Take riding a bike versus driving a car for instance, in places like San Francisco and Japan, individuals put upon themselves the responsibility to de-escalate carbon emmisions produced when driving cars, by using bicycles as their preferred mode of transportation. This conscious effort to significantly reduce greenhouse gases makes it clear that a human's freedom of choice could aid in the efforts againts climate change. Thus, the thought of every man or woman has a role to play in preventing further destruction caused by climate change is true.

In conclusion, having recylcing and the conscious effort of individuals to avoid petrol and side with a more practical approach to life by way of bicycles, has proven the assumption that individuals are responsible for changing their lifestyle in order to stop climate change from ruining the planet. Therefore, it is hoped that this premise willl be increasingly put into reality in the near future.
johnsky
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 6:38 am

Re: Please review my work and comment. Thank you :-)

Post by johnsky »

Decent essay, sentence structure does not have good flow try to use different words, your reference "which one" to subject not accurate you should mention subject before. Your conclusion could be better try to keep it to point.

Critic my essay http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2153
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