Task 2 > Compulsory teaching of a foreign language

[Damien P.]

Hey!
I did this essay (paper-40 minutes) this afternoon.
Could you possibly give me a comment and a probable band score for it?

Thank you in advance!

Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world.
The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In the past century, the phenomenon of globalisation has become more important than ever in human history, and it is agreed that speaking another language is essential for working and studying. Given this supposed necessity and the cultural insight that a foreign language offers, should its teaching be compulsory for pupils?

On the one hand, arguments opposed to such a measure are firstly related to the fact that there has to be a certain freedom of choice regarding education. The family of a primary student should be able to decide whether the latter must be taught a foreign language. Even though languages are said to be pictures of cultures’ morals and ways of thinking, they can also be learnt with a student’s mother tongue, without spending too much time. In that case, why would we force pupils to be polyglots from their younger age?

The answer is that, on the other hand, foreign languages have become as important as native ones in the working and studying environment. Besides permitting people from every origin to communicate without any barrier, speaking another idiom has been proven to involve cognitive abilities that can be essential to globalised, open-minded and versatile individuals. Furthermore, it is known that learning at a young age is much easier than with adults. Thus, the early need for intercultural understanding makes the teaching of another tongue essential. In order to avoid inequalities between children whose parents refused this option and others, everybody should be taught a foreign language before entering middle school.

To conclude, the importance of other languages nowadays reflects the extent that many cultures have taken in everyday life. I personally believe that teaching a language to primary pupils should be compulsory, since it benefits their cognitive abilities, open-mindedness and their future professional life.

297 words

[Flick]

Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world.
The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In the past century, the phenomenon of globalisation has become more important than ever in human history, and it is agreed that speaking another language is essential for working and studying. Given this supposed necessity and the cultural insight that a foreign language offers, should its teaching be compulsory for pupils?

On the one hand, arguments opposed to such a measure are firstly related to the fact that there has to be a certain freedom of choice regarding education. The family of a primary student should be able to decide whether their child must be taught a foreign language. Even though languages are said to be pictures of cultures’ morals and ways of thinking, these things can also be learnt in a student’s mother tongue, without spending too much time on them. In that case, why would we force pupils to be polyglots from a young age?

On the other hand, foreign languages have become as important as native ones in the working and studying environment. Besides permitting people from every origin to communicate without any barrier, speaking another language has been proven to involve cognitive abilities that can be essential to globalised, open-minded and versatile individuals. Furthermore, it is known that learning at a young age is much easier than for adults. Thus, the early need for intercultural understanding makes the teaching of another tongue essential. In order to avoid inequalities between children whose parents refused this option and those who accept it, everybody should be taught a foreign language before entering middle school.

To conclude, the importance of other languages nowadays reflects the extent that many cultures have taken in everyday life. I personally believe that teaching a language to primary school pupils should be compulsory, since it benefits their cognitive abilities, open-mindedness and their future professional life.

[Damien P.]

Thanks

[itsdeepesh]

Although essay is good in terms of structure and vocabulary range, I personally felt introduction should have been more clear. Opinion and your stand should be clear in Introduction.

[kannu]

please check my writing and advice me to improve

man through ages has undergone tremendous changes from the time he depicted the herds of mammoths on the walls of the caves till now as because of the trend of globalization people around the world have become curious to know about each others culture and traditions.so i tend to believe that it has become compulsory to learn foreign languages.though i will discuss the pros and cons of the essay ,i completely agree with the statement.

on the one hand, due to advancement of technology and increased mode of education it usually become compulsory to learn different languages to communicate.for example, i am from India and i want to study in USA so for this i am in great need to push my communication skills.moreover. if the children are tend to learn foreign language from the initial years of school one can easily grasp the accent and can become more confident in future to travel to other countries of the world.
on the other hand,there are two points in regard to the drawbacks of introducing other languages in the primary school. firstly, children will become over pressured and tend to face confusions and difficulties in reading and writing their own native language. secondly,school organizations and government bodies may not be interested to adapt to other languages as for the sake of their dignity and uniqueness in the world.

in conclusion, i strongly believe that it has become necessity to learn new and different languages not for the coming generations but also for the elders to to increase their horizon.

[Damien P.]

Although essay is good in terms of structure and vocabulary range, I personally felt introduction should have been more clear. Opinion and your stand should be clear in Introduction.

Indeed, thanks! Generally we can adopt two methods: give the opinion directly in the introduction, or in the conclusion after discussion. Nevertheless, it is recommended to give it directly at the beginning when our opinion is strong, which was the case in my essay.

please check my writing and advice me to improve

Man through ages has undergone tremendous changes from the time he depicted the herds of mammoths on the walls of the caves till now. Break off the phrase here As because of the trend of globalization people around the world have become curious to know about each others culture and traditions. So i tend to believe that it has become compulsory to learn foreign languages, though I will discuss the pros and cons of the essay. You can finish the sentence here

On the one hand, due to advancement of technology and increased mode of education it usually becomes compulsory to learn different languages to communicate. For example, I am from India and I want to study in the USA so for this I am in great need to push my communication skills. Moreover, if the children are tend to learn a foreign language from the initial years of school one can easily grasp the accent and can become more confident in future to travel to other countries of the world.

On the other hand,there are two points in regard to the drawbacks of introducing other languages in the primary school. Firstly, children will become over pressurised and will tend to face confusions and difficulties in reading and writing their own native language. Secondly, school organizations and government bodies may not be interested in adapting to other languages as for the sake of their dignity and uniqueness in the world.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that it has become necessary to learn new and different languages not only for the coming generations, but also for the elders to increase their horizon.

I liked your essay, clear arguments, clear structure and well announced opinion
The only average point would be the punctuation and the use of capital letters, which should constantly be put on the first letter of each sentence, proper nouns (Mark, John...) and the pronoun "I". Nontheless, you might have put lower case letters only because you retranscripted your essay from paper, so I cannot directly know.

[kannu]

thank u so much for your comments. yes i have write it down from the notebook as initially i write it in my notebook. can you please tell how to write the introduction. please

[Damien P.]

There are several ways to write an introduction, since some prefer to state their opinion in it, and others would rather ask a question in order to discuss it later on.

In any case, it is generally good to write 2-3 sentences in funnel-like structure: 1 sentence that sets up the environment and general subject (importance of the languages in history and education), 1 that narrows the subject down and "specialises it" (thus there are debates about how to teach a language...). The third sentence depends on you and your opinion. I generally ask the problematic (Then, should foreign languages be compulsory at school or not?...) whereas other people will directly state their opinion in lieu of my question (For that reason, I think that f. languages should...).

Never more than a handful of sentences for your intro to be concise and synthetic