GT Writing Task 2

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paperheart
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:02 pm

GT Writing Task 2

Post by paperheart »

Nowadays many young people get involved in criminal activity. Why is this happening? Give reasons followed by examples and suggest preventive measures to eliminate this problem.


There is no doubt that crime rate has increased tremendously over the past few years. This is further supported by BBC, whereby crime rate particularly among juveniles has contributed a significant increase to the overall crime rate. This essay will elaborate on the causes and also provide the solutions to such issue.

First of all, family plays a crucial role in this case. It is often claimed that teenagers who have committed crimes are raised from a broken family. This is because their single parent might not spend sufficient time with them due to their sole breadwinner role in the family and hence, these children would not receive adequate care, love and affectionate from the family and thus, turn to illegal activities like drugs, thefts etc.

Besides, peer pressure is also one of the main causes. When adolescents are sent to school, they are then exposed to different type of friends. For an individual who wants to fit in a particular group of friends, he or she would do anything that their acquaintances request just to feel like they belong to the group. For example, a young man would commit thefts just because his group of friends insist him to.

Despite of all these causes of crimes among youngsters, there are still several ways to curb this problem. For example, family values are extremely important in this case. This is because people need to be showered with sufficient education and as well family bonding time. This is the time where parents are able to get to understand their children and hence guide them to succeed. Also, government could also prevent by imposing stringent laws into the justice systems. By doing this, people would think twice before they intend to commit illegitimate exercises due to severe consequences that they might face.

In conclusion, I believe citizens and government play a vital role in fighting against crimes. It does not just applicable to crimes committed by young offenders but as well as to all criminal activities.
johnsky
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 6:38 am

Re: GT Writing Task 2

Post by johnsky »

Overall it's a good essay, your ideas and presentations are in order. However the grammar needs to improve. Sentence structure is not in order and you will loose marks for this.
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Flick
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Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: GT Writing Task 2

Post by Flick »

paperheart wrote:Nowadays many young people get involved in criminal activity. Why is this happening? Give reasons followed by examples and suggest preventive measures to eliminate this problem.


There is no doubt that the crime rate has increased tremendously over the past few years. This is further supported by the BBC, which reports that the juvenile crime rate has contributed a significant increase to the overall crime rate. This essay will elaborate on the causes and also provide solutions to this issue.

First of all, family plays a crucial role in this case. It is often claimed that teenagers who have committed crimes are often raised in a broken family. This is because their single parent might not spend sufficient time with them due to their sole breadwinner role in the family and hence, these children do not receive adequate care, love and affection from the family and thus, turn to illegal activities like drugs, thefts, etc.

Peer pressure is also one of the main causes. When adolescents are sent to school, they are exposed to different type of friends. For an individual who wants to fit in with a particular group of friends, he or she may do anything that their acquaintances request just to feel like they belong to the group. For example, a young man might commit thefts just because his group of friends encourage him to.

Despite of all these causes of crimes by youth, there are still several ways to curb this problem. For example, family values are extremely important in this case. This is because people need to be showered with sufficient education and as well family bonding time. This is the time where parents are able to get to understand their children and hence guide them to succeed. Also, the government could prevent crime by imposing stringent laws in the justice systems. By doing this, people would think twice before they intend to commit illegitimate exercises due to the severe consequences that they might face.

In conclusion, I believe citizens and government play a vital role in fighting against crime. It is not just applicable to crimes committed by young offenders but to all criminals.
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