Academic Writing Task 2 - Children

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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bionic89
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 6:30 pm

Academic Writing Task 2 - Children

Post by bionic89 »

It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge and experience
(250words)


Answer:

It is true that there are many talented children. Some of them come from the working class, while others belong to the upper class. In my view, they should co-exist in the same school because they will learn a lot from each other.

Kids with a variety of abilities are normal just like other youngsters and they should not be treated in a different way. I strongly believe that the interaction with other children with less abilities will only be positive. This is due to the fact that each of them is a special person and they will realize that not everyone is perfect or extremely talented. It would be a good lesson for their life in general.

Social classes is a sensitive issue in society. Schools are not the exception. It is common to see children from different social classes at school. In my ciew, it is essential to keep students from various social surroundings together in educational institutions, because in that way they learn to respect everyone. They acknowledge the fact that there are other people who live an opposite lifestyle compared to theirs. Actually, i believe that by getting students from diverse social statuses together at school could be a remedy against discrimination and racism. Sterotypes will cease to exist as everyone will socialize with persons whose families are either poor or rich and all of them will experience the notion of equality.

Overall, schools with pupils from only one social class or with plenty of talents could possibly create snobbism and social inequalities.



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Waiting for your comments, corrections, and perhaps an estimation on the band. Thank you in advance.
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IndianHarry
Posts: 79
Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:18 am

Re: Academic Writing Task 2 - Children

Post by IndianHarry »

bionic89 wrote: It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge and experience
(250words)


Answer:

(Never start an essay like its an answer. A good practice is to give a background statement for a start. Then move on towards the topic. Then give your opinion in concise. And then give a brief glimpse of what the coming paragraphs may include.)

It is true that there are many talented children. Some of them come from the working class, while others belong to the upper class. In my view, they should co-exist in the same school because they will learn a lot from each other.

Example - Children are the future of the World. How they live together as children decides what kind of world we would see in the future. The idea that kids from different social backgrounds and varied mental abilities should get together well at school is a thoroughly agreeable one. (then you state your reasons for believing so in concise.)

Kids with a variety of abilities are normal just like other children/kids and they should not be treated in a different way. I strongly believe that the interaction with other children with less abilities will only be positive. This is due to the fact that each of them is a special person and whowill get to realize that not everyone is perfect or extremely talented. It would be a good lesson for their life in general.

Social classes is a sensitive facet/part of society. Schools are not any exception. It is common to see children from different social classes at school. In my view, it is essential to keep students from various social surroundings together in educational institutions, because in that way they learn to respect everyone. They acknowledge the fact that there are other people who live an different/dissimilar/divergent lifestyle compared to theirs. Actually, i believe that by getting students from diverse social statuses together at school could be a remedy against caste based discrimination and racism. Sterotypes will cease to exist as everyone will socialize with persons regardless of the financial status of their family and all of them will experience the notion of equality.

Overall, schools with pupils from only one social class or with plenty of talents could possibly create snobbism and social inequalities.

A good way to put a conclusion is to start with a brief summary of all that you have said. Then state your opinion that you stated in introduction again (in slightly different words). Make some recommendation or prediction to end the essay.

Example - In conclusion it can be said that interaction between such students will only be positive as it will make them honor the differences as a part of life and thus prevent them from falling into behavior such as snobbery or social discrimination. It is indeed a good practice to provide an environment where they can interact openly. This will lead us towards a world that is free of the shackles of discrimination both social and intellectual.



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Waiting for your comments, corrections, and perhaps an estimation on the band. Thank you in advance.
Your command of English is very good in my opinion. All you need to work on is structuring your essay better. Don't hesitate to give a full 5 minutes to just brainstorming the ideas that you may use in the essay. Begin once you are sure what you want to write.

No prediction for Bands.
Harry Singh Sra
Skype - harry.5abi
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