Task 2 - Academic
Write about the following topic:
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
It is true that we all miss our childhood when we were playing all the time while having no responsibilities and worries apart from our homework. However, in some countries children are forced to work in order to survive and help financially their families.
On the one hand, there are certain people who believe that it is absolutely fine for children to work because in that way they earn money, thus they learn not to be lazy and ask for pocket money from their parents. Also, these children learn to be responsible by being in charge of a service and in general owning a job position. For instance, I quite remember my friend telling me how mature he felt when he worked as a waiter when he was a child. His position helped him increase his social skills, while he bought a new bike with his new salary.
On the other hand, juvenile work is forbidden in most countries in the world, while human rights organizations estimate that millions of children are still working illegally not only in developing countries but also in the developed ones. The only responsibility of children should be their studies at school while the tender years of childhood should not be spent at work. Besides, the parents are the ones that should cater for the well-being of their child and not vice versa. In addition, children who work will be easily exploited because children are not aware of the existing dangers and cannot defend themselves.
In my view, children should not work because work will prevent them from having proper education. Furthermore, their innocence will be lost considering that the environment of paid jobs is not appropriate for minors. I have heard recently about the arrest of a pedophile who tried to sexually assault a child who was selling handmade jewellery. I know that some families are poor and cannot afford buying food but children should be protected and above all they should have access to education and focus only on that.
Task 2 (Academic) needs your assessment and feedback!
Re: Task 2 (Academic) needs your assessment and feedback!
It is true that we all miss our childhood when we were playing all the time while having no responsibilities and worries apart from our homework. However, in some countries children are forced to work in order to survive and help their families financially .
On the one hand, there are certain people who believe that it is absolutely fine for children to work because in that way they earn money, thus they learn not to be lazy and willl not ask for pocket money from their parents. Also, these children learn how to be responsible by being in charge of a service and in general owning a job position. For instance, I quite remember my friend telling me how he matured when he worked as a waiter in his childhood. Besides, this helped him to increase his social skills, while he bought a new bike with his new salary.,( irrevelant, incoherence )
On the other hand, juvenile work is forbidden in most countries in the world. In fact human rights organizations estimate that millions of children are still working illegally not only in developing countries but also in the developed ones. The only responsibility of children should be their studies at school,also i think you love using 'while' clause the tender years of childhood should not be spent at work. Besides, the parents are the ones that should cater for the well-being of their child and not vice versa. In addition, children who work will be easily exploited because they are not aware of the existing dangers and cannot defend themselves.
In my view, children should not work because it will prevent them from having proper education. Furthermore, their innocence will be lost considering the environment of paid jobs is not appropriate for minors. I have heard recently about the arrest of a pedophile who tried to sexually assault a child who was selling handmade jewellery. I know that some families are poor and cannot afford buying food, but children should be protected, and above all they should have access to education and should focus only on that.
attempt to answer the question is visible, but lacks clarity.
poor grammar structure and some word choices are awkward.
looks band 6 ( I am not an assess)or
On the one hand, there are certain people who believe that it is absolutely fine for children to work because in that way they earn money, thus they learn not to be lazy and willl not ask for pocket money from their parents. Also, these children learn how to be responsible by being in charge of a service and in general owning a job position. For instance, I quite remember my friend telling me how he matured when he worked as a waiter in his childhood. Besides, this helped him to increase his social skills, while he bought a new bike with his new salary.,( irrevelant, incoherence )
On the other hand, juvenile work is forbidden in most countries in the world. In fact human rights organizations estimate that millions of children are still working illegally not only in developing countries but also in the developed ones. The only responsibility of children should be their studies at school,also i think you love using 'while' clause the tender years of childhood should not be spent at work. Besides, the parents are the ones that should cater for the well-being of their child and not vice versa. In addition, children who work will be easily exploited because they are not aware of the existing dangers and cannot defend themselves.
In my view, children should not work because it will prevent them from having proper education. Furthermore, their innocence will be lost considering the environment of paid jobs is not appropriate for minors. I have heard recently about the arrest of a pedophile who tried to sexually assault a child who was selling handmade jewellery. I know that some families are poor and cannot afford buying food, but children should be protected, and above all they should have access to education and should focus only on that.
attempt to answer the question is visible, but lacks clarity.
poor grammar structure and some word choices are awkward.
looks band 6 ( I am not an assess)or
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
Re: Task 2 (Academic) needs your assessment and feedback!
Thank you for your time! It lacks clarity in general? Wasn't the question answered with examples + personal opinion?