task 2 <leisure time>

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durai
Posts: 401
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:35 pm

task 2 <leisure time>

Post by durai »

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind such as reading and doing word puzzles. Others feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Over the last decade, due to work-life balance leisure time among people has significantly increased the world over. While some opine that this free time should be spent on improving the brain power, others believe that having rest is necessary to relax a mind. This essay will analyze both sides without any prejudice.

On the unitary hand, many argue that people should involve in doing different activities such as reading, playing word games when they mother a free time because of their potential benefits. For instance, reading is the assimilation of knowledge and interaction with better brains. Besides this, it develops linguistic acumen with immense happiness. Such habit will give readers extensive ideas about various things for their personal and professional growth. From this, it is clear that engaging in some sort of work at the leisure time would be beneficial.

On the other hand, some people contend that leisure time is the time for a person to rest his/her mind since relaxation is a key element that the human brain needs at times. While considering the study conducted by Latrobe University, Melbourne, a person with 2 hours mind rest everyday have 40% more production in his/her work than a person without rest. As this example shows that there is a substantial gain in the production when the person relaxes, the importance of resting the brain in the free time is clearly seen.

To sum up, there are some positive effects when individuals either engage in work or rest their mind in their leisure time. In my opinion, it is purely based on the individual’s sense of approach in doing things and varies from person to person.
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allen_zhang
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Re: task 2 <leisure time>

Post by allen_zhang »

Hi Durai,
I thought to write an essay on this topic, but I finally give up as I don't think it will appear in a General training test.
A few comments from me.


Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind such as reading and doing word puzzles. Others feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Over the last decade, due to work-life balance leisure time among people has significantly increased the world over.
This sentence looks like wrong.
firstly, a comma should be used after "work-life balance".
secondly, from my point of view, "work-life balance" cannot be used as a reason.
I would word it as below:
In recent years,as work-life balance has been increasingly valued, people are now enjoying an significant increase on their leisure time.


While some opine that this free time should be spent on improving the brain power, others believe that having rest is necessary to relax a mind. This essay will analyze both sides without any prejudice.

On the unitary hand, many argue that people should involve in doing different activities such as reading, playing word games when they mother a free time because of their potential benefits. For instance, reading is the assimilation of knowledge and interaction with better brains. Besides this, it develops linguistic acumen with immense happiness. Such habit will give readers extensive ideas about various things for their personal and professional growth. From this, it is clear that engaging in some sort of work why work? it's neither reading nor word puzzles at the leisure time would be beneficial.

Generally, from my point of view, ideas are not fully developed in this paragraph.


On the other hand, some people contend that leisure time is the time for a person to rest his/her mind since relaxation is a key element that the human brain needs at times. While considering the study conducted by Latrobe University, Melbourne, a person with 2 hours mind rest everyday have 40% more production in his/her work than a person without rest. As this example shows that there is a substantial gain in the productionproductivity when the person relaxes, the importance of resting the brain in the free time is clearly seen.
To me, this sentence is too wordy (2 clauses).


To sum up, there are some positive effects when individuals either engage in work or rest their mind in their leisure time. In my opinion, it is purely based on the individual’s sense of approach in doing things and varies from person to person.


"sense of approach in doing things" is not clear to me. I would rather word it like: it is purely a personal choice and varies from person to person.

conclusion is not explained. it is your opinion, but I don't know how you draw this conclusion.

The biggest problem is: you may misunderstand this question. work is not relevant. It's talking about reading and word puzzles which can help to develop people's mind.
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durai
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Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: task 2 <leisure time>

Post by durai »

Hi Allen,

Thanks fro your comments.

I expected such mistakes:

"Due to work-life balance" I was sure that this may not worded correctly as like " sense of approach"

But, ' reading and word puzzles are given as an example, but the main topic is about leisure time to do different activities or not.
So, in general, it's about about any work, that's what I assumed.

Anyway, I was not satisfied with my written work. Let's try hard for next one.

Durai
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