Review my task 1 letter writing

[mahendran]

Task 1
Question:
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter,
• Explain why you want to take time off work.
• Give details of the amount of time you need.
• Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away.
Answer:
Dear Sir,
I am Mahendran from fixture design team. I would like to go to my native place that I have some problems over there. As I already said, my grandparents are died due to illness and aged. So I need to sell my property with reasonable rate. My properties are six and half acre farm land, ten cents of traditional house with three cows. In addition, some servants work in our farm land that I need to pay attention on those servants.
By solving these issues, I need to take around ten days leave with your approval. If you approve my leave, I will complete my work and I will have returned. For your information, may be the work will take another two days. So it would be better to take leave twelve days. Another two days are only buffer for finishing my work effectively. If allotted job finish in earlier that I would come to office as early as possible.
Actually I asked our customer to give the schedule for upcoming ten days. They send me the report through online mail. One of my team mate name is karmegam.He will take care of my upcoming schedule that he postponed his research and development work. Also he will take care of my roles and responsibilities and he will do the further proceedings. Kindly accept my leave and as soon as I complete my work, I will present in office.
Thanking you,
Yours truly
(Mahendran)

[Flick]

Task 1
Question:
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter,
• Explain why you want to take time off work.
• Give details of the amount of time you need.
• Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away.
Answer:

Dear Sir,
I am Mahendran from the fixture design team. )I would like to go to my native place that I have some problems over there. As I already said, my grandparents are died due to illness and aged. So I need to sell my property with reasonable rate. My properties are six and half acre farm land, ten cents of traditional house with three cows. In addition, some servants work in our farm land that I need to pay attention on those servants.) (<-- I think you go into too much detail here. Instead, write something simple. For example, 'My family is currently experiencing some difficulties, and I need to go and visit them to help.'
(By solving these issues,)(<-- This isn't necessary.) I need to take around ten days leave with your approval. If you approve my leave, I will complete my work once I have returned as the project does not have a deadline. (<-- It is good to give a reason why your work can wait until you return.) This work should only take another two days. (So it would be better to take leave twelve days. Another two days are only buffer for finishing my work effectively. If allotted job finish in earlier that I would come to office as early as possible.) (<-- Asking for 12 days leave just to finish your work before visiting your family is not a good policy. I would exclude this part.)
I asked our customer to give me their schedule for the upcoming ten days. They sent me the report through email. My teammate, Karmegam, will take care of my upcoming schedule as he has postponed his research and development work. (<-- suggesting another employee stops their work to do your work is not a good idea.) (Also he will take care of my responsibilities and he will do the further proceedings.) (<-- You have already said that Karmegam will cover your work.) Please let me know as soon as possible if my leave has been approved. I appreciate your understanding..
Thanking you,
Yours truly
(Mahendran)