A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.
Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?
While there is a contradiction that tourist industry has flourished enormously in last few years accelerating in country’s income, at the same time also contributed in destroying the heritage of the country. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.
There are several advantages of tourism. First of all, it has been noticed, with the advancement in digital media it has become easy to locate the hotels to stay, resulting in increased revenue in hospitality. This has helped in increasing nation’s income. Moreover, tourism has helped different countries to understand each other’s culture and ethics Secondly, tourism is a breakthrough in employment. Those who do not want do to leave their cities in search of job can get hired in different sector of tourism. For instance, Hotels like Taj has opened its properties in almost every tourist place and given the chance to be employed there like hotel manager, chef and on other profiles. Thus, tourism helps business owners to hire more people.
However, there are certain disadvantages as well. Nowadays it has been observed that those who are going to enjoy different places, litter everywhere and write on the walls of monuments a precious commodity which in turn makes place dirty and also hamper its beauty. Also, the privacy of local people gets hampered as tourist gets involved in drug smuggling and might end up disturbing people. For example, audiences coming to visit Taj Mahal is not allowed to touch the walls as they end up writing their names or something that does not look good on heritage. Therefore, attribute of tourism sometimes end up in destruction of wonders on the earth.
To recapitulate, I would rather say, tourism helps in maintaining country’s growth and also motivate people to make the country beautiful with the enrolment of people. The positives of tourism overlooked its disadvantages.
General Writing Task2..Please asses
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Re: General Writing Task2..Please asses
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Thanks for your submission urvashi saxena!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
While there is a contradiction that tourist industry has flourished enormously in last few years accelerating in country’s income, at the same time also contributed in destroying the heritage of the country REWRITE ... WHILE THE TOURISM INDUSTRY HAS FLOURISHED ENORMOUSLY IN RECENT YEARS, IT HAS ALSO CONTRIBUTED TO THE DESTRUCTION OF CULTURAL HERITAGE IN MANY COUNTRIES. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.
B1:
ON THE ONE HAND, there are several advantages of tourism. First of all, it has been NOTED THAT with the advancement in digital media it has HOTELS HAVE BECOME EASIER TO LOCATE, resulting in increased revenue FOR THE hospitality INDUSTRY. This has helped in increasing nation’s income. Moreover, tourism has helped different countries to understand each other’s culture and ethics. Secondly, tourism HAS SEEN a breakthrough in employment. Those who do not want do to leave their cities in search of jobS can get hired in different sectorS of tourism. For instance, Hotels like Taj HAVE opened THEIR properties in almost every tourist place and given the chance FOR PEOPLE to be employed there AS hotel managerS, chefS and other JOBS. Thus, tourism helps business owners to hire more people.
B2:
ON THE OTHER HAND, there are certain disadvantages as well. Nowadays it has been observed that those who are going to enjoy different places, litter everywhere and write on the walls of monuments (DELETE "a precious commodity") which in turn makes placeS dirty and also hamper THEIR beauty. Also, the privacy of local people gets hampered as tourist gets involved in drug smuggling and might end up disturbing TO LOCAL people. For example, audiences coming to visit Taj Mahal ARE not allowed to touch the walls as they end up writing their names or something that does not look good on heritage SITES. Therefore, (DELETE "attribute of") tourism sometimes endS up in THE destruction of THE wonders OF the earth.
CONC:
To recapitulate, I would rather say, tourism helps in maintaining A country’s growth and also motivateS people to make the country beautiful FOR the BENEFIT of MANY people. IN THE END, the positives of tourism OUTWEIGH THE disadvantages.
Good job! You have a good structure and good ideas. Just try to work on the points below in the advice section.
Advice:
1. Firstly, the essay is a little too long at 313 words. Definitely try to keep it under 300, or 270 even better. Being able to write with brevity is a definite skill.
2. Add a linking phrase at the beginning of each body paragraph.
3. Don't repeat 'it that' twice in the same sentence (As in the second sentence in your B1).
4. Don't forget 's' on plural words ('jobs', 'their' etc.)
5. Be careful of little words like 'the', 'of', and 'have'.
6. Use 'however' in the middle of a paragraph, not the beginning of a paragraph.
Band-score:
TA: 7.0
G: 6.5
V: 7.0
CC: 6.0
IELTS essay check : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/essays
Online IELTS lessons : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/lessons
IELTS Freebies!! : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/freebies
YouTube - Task 2 Academic - "SENTENCE PAIRS" : https://youtu.be/1P2Wo6Y65bA
Thanks for your submission urvashi saxena!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
While there is a contradiction that tourist industry has flourished enormously in last few years accelerating in country’s income, at the same time also contributed in destroying the heritage of the country REWRITE ... WHILE THE TOURISM INDUSTRY HAS FLOURISHED ENORMOUSLY IN RECENT YEARS, IT HAS ALSO CONTRIBUTED TO THE DESTRUCTION OF CULTURAL HERITAGE IN MANY COUNTRIES. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion.
B1:
ON THE ONE HAND, there are several advantages of tourism. First of all, it has been NOTED THAT with the advancement in digital media it has HOTELS HAVE BECOME EASIER TO LOCATE, resulting in increased revenue FOR THE hospitality INDUSTRY. This has helped in increasing nation’s income. Moreover, tourism has helped different countries to understand each other’s culture and ethics. Secondly, tourism HAS SEEN a breakthrough in employment. Those who do not want do to leave their cities in search of jobS can get hired in different sectorS of tourism. For instance, Hotels like Taj HAVE opened THEIR properties in almost every tourist place and given the chance FOR PEOPLE to be employed there AS hotel managerS, chefS and other JOBS. Thus, tourism helps business owners to hire more people.
B2:
ON THE OTHER HAND, there are certain disadvantages as well. Nowadays it has been observed that those who are going to enjoy different places, litter everywhere and write on the walls of monuments (DELETE "a precious commodity") which in turn makes placeS dirty and also hamper THEIR beauty. Also, the privacy of local people gets hampered as tourist gets involved in drug smuggling and might end up disturbing TO LOCAL people. For example, audiences coming to visit Taj Mahal ARE not allowed to touch the walls as they end up writing their names or something that does not look good on heritage SITES. Therefore, (DELETE "attribute of") tourism sometimes endS up in THE destruction of THE wonders OF the earth.
CONC:
To recapitulate, I would rather say, tourism helps in maintaining A country’s growth and also motivateS people to make the country beautiful FOR the BENEFIT of MANY people. IN THE END, the positives of tourism OUTWEIGH THE disadvantages.
Good job! You have a good structure and good ideas. Just try to work on the points below in the advice section. Advice:
1. Firstly, the essay is a little too long at 313 words. Definitely try to keep it under 300, or 270 even better. Being able to write with brevity is a definite skill.
2. Add a linking phrase at the beginning of each body paragraph.
3. Don't repeat 'it that' twice in the same sentence (As in the second sentence in your B1).
4. Don't forget 's' on plural words ('jobs', 'their' etc.)
5. Be careful of little words like 'the', 'of', and 'have'.
6. Use 'however' in the middle of a paragraph, not the beginning of a paragraph.
Band-score:
TA: 7.0
G: 6.5
V: 7.0
CC: 6.0
