IELTS writing practice for checking

[Md. Kabir Hossain]

Dear IELTS Specialist/Teacher/Sir,

Take my best respect. I am doing practice of different ielts test, but it is tough to self evaluation that which level of band score I actually belong to . Thats why I posted a writing practice test here. You may evaluate the scripts whatever you think. No problem, even I may have score around 5/6. If you kind, please help me evaluating the below scripts and I will be impressed of you.

Grateful
Md. Kabir Hossain
kabirhossainsw@gmail.com

Cambridge IELTS 6, Test 3, Writing Task-1
Topic: The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Answer
(Copied from scripts even word misspell & grammatical incorrect)

The given diagram shows the living wheel of silkworm and the different steps that should be on the way of the process of silk cloth production system.
Overall 76 days in the cycle of silkwork life from lying eggs to moth. And other things that the production of silk cloth needs five steps to finalize.
In the life cycle of the silk worm we see the eggs lying to producing lavra has 10 days, between the silk lavra that eats leaf and lavra of silk thread takes a long time of 6 weeks. Silk worm lavra actually lives on mulberry leaf as its food. Within three to eight days silk thread lavra turn into in to cocoon and raw material cocoon to moth have 16 days. That is up the life process.
In the table of the silk cloth production, raw material cocoon is boiled in a hot pot and unwind by 300m-900m. After the unwinding process, cocoons are twisted and dying properly, the weave of the dye bed finalize the production system. (175 words)






Cambridge IELTS 6, Test 3, Writing Task-2
Topic: Some people believe that visitors to others countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.
Answer
(Copied from scripts even word misspell & grammatical incorrect)
Travelling around the worlds is going to increase day by day. That’s why many of us believe that tourists come from abroad or go to abroad for visiting historical spots should follow some local norms and values which is the common component of locality and builds up the native expression as behavior. But other parts of the people believe that the country which is in the role of greeting better to congrats cultural variation appeared from the new comers.
Crucial point that, law and customs is the identification of a nation and it strongly shaped for the territorial citizen only. This is why, the visitors or tourist from others state or country must roam following the on going regulations. If it’s not, a lot of problems such as smoking is either common habits or not, but the special rules for smoking varies from country to country, and sometimes it may be punishable for innocent people. Not only for smoking but also food habit, dressing, life style even expression of courtesy is totally different in global states.
Although visitors should keep pace with the habitant they find but it is strong faith that new comers are always guest for the host authorities. Greeting cultural variation is now the modest indeed. Suppose sexuality is a bio-physical demand for all but every nation enjoys it in their own way. In Asian nations mentioned habit are follows to very secrecy but other nation like USA or Latin even Europe see it in different angle. So the visitors may get their bio-physical demands in their existing customs but host must express its maximum respect to greet it.
My opinion stages that the both conditions are very important for geo-culture adaptation system. Addaptation is the law nature so we can not disagree with both view. In a common system of a country to evaluate the stranger’s norms and values but visitors as well as travellers should obey the hosting culture and tradition. (326 words)

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Thanks for your submission Md. Kabir Hossain!! Please see my rewrite below ...

The given diagram shows the living wheel of silkworm and the different steps that should be on the way of the process of silk cloth production system.
The diagram shows the life cycle of the silkworm and the series of steps that need to be taken in order to produce silk.

Overall 76 days in the cycle of silkwork life from lying eggs to moth. And other things that the production of silk cloth needs five steps to finalize.
Overall, there are 76 days in the life cycle of the silkworm, from laying eggs to becoming a moth, and a total of five steps are needed to finalise the production of silk cloth.

In the life cycle of the silk worm we see the eggs lying to producing lavra has 10 days, between the silk lavra that eats leaf and lavra of silk thread takes a long time of 6 weeks.
Looking in greater detail, it can be seen that it takes ten days for the eggs to become larva, and a further six weeks ...... (difficult to understand)

Silk worm lavra actually lives on mulberry leaf as its food. Within three to eight days silk thread lavra turn into in to cocoon and raw material cocoon to moth have 16 days. That is up the life process.
Another key point is that silkworm larva live completely on mulberry leaves, and after three to eight days, the silk thread larva turns into a cocoon .... (difficult to understand)

In the table of the silk cloth production, raw material cocoon is boiled in a hot pot and unwind by 300m-900m. After the unwinding process, cocoons are twisted and dying properly, the weave of the dye bed finalize the production system.
Turning our attention to the table showing the silk cloth production, we can see that first the raw cocoon is boiled in hot water (?) and unwound to a length of 300 to 900 metres. After the unwinding, the cocoons are twisted, dyed and woven to create the finished product.


Good job!
Advice:
1. Try to focus more evenly on both processes (the natural and man-made ones)
2. Use passives only in the man-made process
3. Make sure you use the past participle for the man made process, not other verbs (dyed not dying, woven not weave)

TA: 5.5
Grammar: 5.0
Vocab: 5.0
CC:5.0

[Md. Kabir Hossain]

Thanks a lot for your feed back and it will help me to forward.