Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Happiness, the most magical and the most confusing word to almost all the people over the world. This term differs from person to person, age to age. However, most perfect age for happiness is often debated. Whether teenage years or adult life brings more happiness, this essay will analyze in an effort to find a better solution or answer to this query.
Firstly, teenage years are the happiest time of almost life of every people. This is the time when one stays with one’s parent, do not have any kind of responsibilities but to enjoy the life. In teenage years people tend to enjoy every moment of their life. They get to play, hangout, day out, stay over and many other activities with their friends and cousins. Also, this period of life appears as most secured life one can ever have because one has his/her parent at the top of the head as an umbrella to protect them from whatever it is. They are always there for teenagers no matter what happens with their life.
Secondly, compare to the teenage life, adult life has more freedom. Because, here specific person is the one who gets to make his/her decision about anything. So, people can do whatever they want no matter it is good or bad. It is what freedom brings in to. At this age people usually have lots of responsibilities with their family and friends. They cannot do a lot of things what could have done it teenage time. Rather they have to focus on their career and other things for the reason of greater responsibilities.
In Conclusion, the above discussion makes it clear that different period of age has different kind of happiness. But I believe that teenage years are the happiest times of one’s life though adult life also brings happiness.
(304 words)
Please review my Discussion essay, Writing task-2
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Mark IELTS
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 5:50 am
Re: Please review my Discussion essay, Writing task-2
Hello!
I like the first 2 sentences of the introduction, but not the third!
The first main paragraph is interesting. I'm not sure whether to disagree or not, but I'd appreciate the honest opinions of younger people. You say that teenagers have no real responsibilities. Fair enough. But then why do I hear so many teenagers complaining that they have to study for long periods?
You repeat the idea that teenagers have no responsibilities in the second main paragraph, which is bad style. One main idea per paragraph.
The conclusion is just an assertion. There is no evidence provided to support this. (In fact, if many/most teenagers spend time studying, then the whole argument collapses.
Grammatical range is very limited. Where are the conditionals and modals? Everything is given as a clear assertion for all teenagers. I honestly doubt that all teenagers all over the world have the same lifestyles!
All the best,
Mark
I like the first 2 sentences of the introduction, but not the third!
The first main paragraph is interesting. I'm not sure whether to disagree or not, but I'd appreciate the honest opinions of younger people. You say that teenagers have no real responsibilities. Fair enough. But then why do I hear so many teenagers complaining that they have to study for long periods?
You repeat the idea that teenagers have no responsibilities in the second main paragraph, which is bad style. One main idea per paragraph.
The conclusion is just an assertion. There is no evidence provided to support this. (In fact, if many/most teenagers spend time studying, then the whole argument collapses.
Grammatical range is very limited. Where are the conditionals and modals? Everything is given as a clear assertion for all teenagers. I honestly doubt that all teenagers all over the world have the same lifestyles!
All the best,
Mark