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Please assess my essay

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 2:50 am
by irgmn
some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers,whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.discuss both views and give your own opinion ?
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The optimal way to educate young students is a topic of non-ceasing discussion among parents, teachers and educational authorities.
Some groups opine that home assignments are of no merit and only increase workload, cause an unnecessary stress and might a have negative effect on social life of adolescents.
Others opine that extra-curriculum tasks are an essential part of learning process and contribute substantially to students' personal development and academical achievements.
in this essay I will contend that homework is a crucial part of the learning process and can not be dismissed.

One the one hand, home assignments might be seen as an unwelcome continuation of school activities in the student's leisure hours. In place of spending time with friends, doing sports and having fun,
young pupils are compelled to work on school assignments. If given in un-restricted quantities, the home workload might reflect negatively on child's social life, distancing him from friends and activities he loves.
in extreme cases it might even create an aversion to school and teachers and the learning process. Despite the severity of the homework ramifications above,
they can e relatively easily averted by carefully curbed curriculum that with emphasis on light, interesting home activities, done in groups to promote social aspects of child's personal development.
Thus, although the potential disadvantages of homework should not be overlooked, they could be minor if carefully controlled.

on the other hand, home assignments can greatly contribute to the adolescent's personal development. The ability to act independently,
the skill to uncover new facts and reach conclusions un-assisted, is an invaluable trait that will serve students during their school years and in their adult life.
New discoveries have been made by people who look far beyond the answers they were given by seeking new knowledge and uncovering the unexplored areas.
This inquisitive mind can manifest itself and evolve in the atmosphere were the answers are to be found and truths are to be uncovered.
it requires discipline, dedication and an urge for knowledge. Projects, essays and research are all examples of home assignments that can help promoting this independence of mind.
Subsequently, home assignments will contribute to pupil's individuality and improve his grades.

in conclusion, despite some disadvantages, which can be augmented by carefully constructed educational programs, work at home has some indisputable benefits.
If preserved as part of modern curriculum, it will contribute in raising new generation of explorers, scientists and intellectually developed individuals.

Re: Please assess my essay

Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 9:55 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Overall, a good essay. You make some very good points, but in the conclusion you fail to say why you favour one argument over the other.

Grammatically, you use 'will' too often. However, in other parts of the essay, you do use modals very well. Vocabulary is very good in terms of both range and accuracy, despite a few errors.

Grammatical accuracy is good, but would benefit from the use of a wider range of structures.

So, a good essay that could easily be turned into a very good one!

All the best,
David

Re: Please assess my essay

Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 2:44 am
by irgmn
Thank you!

Re: Please assess my essay

Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 9:07 pm
by Flick
irgmn wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2017 2:50 am some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers,whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.discuss both views and give your own opinion ?
+==================================================================

The optimal way to educate young students is a topic of non-ceasing discussion among parents, teachers and educational authorities. Some groups opine that home assignments are of no merit and only increase workload, cause unnecessary stress and might have a negative effect on the social life of adolescents. Others opine that extra-curricular tasks are an essential part of the learning process and contribute substantially to students' personal development and academic achievements. In this essay, I will contend that homework is a crucial part of the learning process and can not be dismissed.

One the one hand, home assignments might be seen as an unwelcome continuation of school activities in the student's leisure hours. In place of spending time with friends, doing sports and having fun, young pupils are compelled to work on school assignments. If given in un-restricted quantities, the home workload might reflect negatively on the child's social life, distancing him from friends and activities he loves. In extreme cases, it might even create an aversion to school and teachers and the learning process. Despite the severity of the homework ramifications above, they can be relatively easily averted by carefully curbed curriculum with emphasis on light, interesting home activities, done in groups to promote the social aspects of the child's personal development. Thus, although the potential disadvantages of homework should not be overlooked, they could be minor if carefully controlled.

On the other hand, home assignments can greatly contribute to the adolescent's personal development. The ability to act independently, and the skill to uncover new facts and reach conclusions un-assisted is an invaluable trait that will serve students during their school years and in their adult life. New discoveries have been made by people who look far beyond the answers they were given by seeking new knowledge and uncovering unexplored areas. This inquisitive mind can manifest itself and evolve in the atmosphere where the answers are to be found and truths are to be uncovered. It requires discipline, dedication and an urge for knowledge. Projects, essays and research are all examples of home assignments that can help promote this independence of mind. Subsequently, home assignments will contribute to a pupil's individuality and improve his grades.

In conclusion, despite some disadvantages, which can be augmented by carefully constructed educational programs, work at home has some indisputable benefits. If preserved as part of the modern curriculum, it will contribute in raising a new generation of explorers, scientists and intellectually developed individuals.