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Kindly evaluate task 2

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:50 pm
by zeeshi16
Universities have long been considered a place for nurturing knowledge. It is argued by some that they should only be used to prepare an individual for the workplace. However, others assert that universities are the birthplace of knowledge and should not be employed just for the sake of breeding workers.

People often enlist in courses that may further their chances of getting a job. Some people are of the mind that universities should only offer programmes that help people in acquiring the skills and abilities that may later help them in acquiring fruitful jobs. For example, in Pakistan, there are technical institutes which offer technical courses only. These institutes supply the main technical workforce of the country. Furthermore, money has become an essential commodity in today’s material world. Without money, survival would be difficult even with the most advanced knowledge of the abstract subjects.

On the other hand, there are people who believe that universities should function as a breeding place for knowledge of all sorts. For instance, social sciences may not give students the skills for a workplace but they play an essential role in the development of an individual’s personality and leadership qualities. Thus, such courses go a long way in developing leaders for tomorrow.

Having discussed both viewpoints, I think that universities should be used as a center for knowledge as well as providing skills that are useful in the workplace. This way, they can improve all aspects of life.

Re: Kindly evaluate task 2

Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:23 pm
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

Sorry, but I find the main paragraphs confusing. The first fails to explain why universities should ONLY offer those courses. The second seems to support the argument that university courses should lead to jobs (developing future leaders).

This is mainly due to the language used. There are numerous problems with expression - poor grammar, vocabulary not used precisely, lack of grammatical range.

The conclusion fails to express how you have reached that conclusion.

All the best,
David

Re: Kindly evaluate task 2

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 9:13 pm
by Flick
zeeshi16 wrote: Thu Jun 01, 2017 3:50 pm Universities have long been considered a place for nurturing knowledge. It is argued by some that they should only be used to prepare an individual for the workplace. However, others assert that universities are the birthplace of knowledge and should not be employed just for the sake of breeding workers.

People often enlist in courses that further their chances of getting a job. Some people believe that universities should only offer programmes that help people in acquiring the skills and abilities that will help them in acquiring fruitful jobs. For example, in Pakistan, there are technical institutes which offer technical courses only. These institutes supply the main technical workforce of the country. Furthermore, money has become an essential commodity in today’s material world. Without money, survival would be difficult, even with the most advanced knowledge of abstract subjects.(<--What does this have to do with your argument? You need to expand on this.)

On the other hand, there are people who believe that universities should function as a center for knowledge of all sorts. For instance, social sciences may not give students the skills needed in a workplace, but they play an essential role in the development of an individual’s personality and leadership qualities. Thus, such courses go a long way in developing leaders for tomorrow.

Having discussed both viewpoints, I think that universities should be used as a center for knowledge as well as providing skills that are useful in the workplace. This way, they can improve all aspects of life.