Please review my writing task 2

[Dzzz]

Today more people are traveling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
That are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?


Today more people are traveling than ever before. There is not one but several reasons for that.
These reasons will be analysed further in this essay. Some of the benefits of traveling will be discussed after.

First of all, over the past decade, global economic had grown dramatically. Leading airlines, such as KLM, United or Lufthansa keep fighting for the customers, overall bringing the air fares down. As a result, traveling become more affordable to people across the world. For example, it’s possible to fly from China to Europe for less than $500.
Such a low fare, gives people more possibilities to travel wherever they want.

Another reason is information. Today, there is no borders in terms of information flow. With the wide spread of internet and media, more people are encouraged to travel than ever before. TV channels such as Discovery and National Geographic promote traveling lifestyle among their audience. Traveling with a coin, is a good example of such TV program, where authors flip a coin in order to decide which county they go next.

Among the benefits of it is that traveling is obviously the best way to learn about other countries, their culture and traditions. You can enjoy holidays by taking sunbaths on the beaches of Bora Bora or skiing in high mountains of Shamonix. Meet people from other countries, get to know their culture and try their cuisine. Learn different languages and find new friends. There are many more benefits which traveling can bring to everyone.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I think that you have only answered the question in a very general (superficial) way. Sure, lower prices are great, but people don't just travel because it's cheaper. I think you also missed a great opportunity to write about business travel. You also failed to say why people travel when, as you correctly write, they can get the information from the internet.

As I said, I agree with your points, but they are too simplistic.

Vocabulary is good, but grammatical range is limited, although accuracy with that limited range is quite high.

A reasonable essay that could easily be improved into a very good one.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Today more people are traveling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
That are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?


Today, more people are traveling than ever before. There is not one but several reasons for that. These reasons will be analysed in this essay. Some of the benefits of traveling will be discussed after.

First of all, over the past decade, the global economy has grown dramatically. Leading airlines, such as KLM, United or Lufthansa keep fighting for customers, overall bringing the price of air fares down. As a result, traveling has become more affordable to people across the world. For example, it’s possible to fly from China to Europe for less than $500. Such a low fare gives people more possibilities to travel wherever they want.

Another reason is information. Today, there are no borders in terms of information flow. With the widespread availability of the internet and media, more people are encouraged to travel than ever before. TV channels such as Discovery and National Geographic promote a traveling lifestyle among their audience. 'Traveling with a coin' is a good example of such a TV program, where the presenters flip a coin in order to decide which county they visit next.

Among the benefits of this is that traveling is obviously the best way to learn about other countries, their culture and traditions. You can enjoy holidays by taking sunbaths on the beaches of Bora Bora or skiing in the high mountains of Shamonix. Meet people from other countries, get to know their culture and try their cuisine. Learn different languages and find new friends. There are many more benefits which traveling can bring to everyone.