kindly give me the rating for this essay ielts task2 generl

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rani
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:00 pm

kindly give me the rating for this essay ielts task2 generl

Post by rani »

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Answer
Inborn talents are a great gift from the Creator. Throughout the history many great legends have ruled the world of music and sports with their natural talents. In most countries children are encouraged to continue their love for music and sports from the grades one to twelve. Since many children are not born with the art of music and sport they would prefer to learn from everyday classes as extracurricular activities. Whether any child could excel by learning music and sports is a good contentious topic. In the following essay both the sides will be analysed before reaching a reasonable conclusion.
On the one hand people are gifted with talents or else they carry their ancestor’s genes who have the inbuilt qualities for natural gift of playing music or sports. As a result these people need to spend very less time in improving their talents or to learn different types of styles that are involved in music and sports. For example, I have a childhood friend who was to catch the rhythm, play the keyboard and sing rhymes when her mom inserts a disc in the CD player. Upon seeing her grasping ability the parents encouraged her to continue to compose music and sing regularly. Gradually this gift of music had led her to become a great musician.
On the other hand some parents who are interested in music and sports and are unable to learn during their life time, desires that at least their children should fulfill their dreams and aspirations. In some countries like India many parents goal is to teach their children with co-curricular activities along with their academic subjects. For instance my father when he was a boy liked to play football but could not afford to go for the coaching along with his friends; unfortunately he had to give up even his studies because of the family burden that was demanding him. But his dreams never went in vain; he fulfilled all those through my brother by sending him to learn football. As the proverb says “do your best and God will do the rest” my brother is the Captain for his school football team and won many best awards. Thus it is understandable why this point of view garnered support.
Following the various opinions that some are acquired with talents and while others learn them, I strongly believe that children or people regardless of their age who have strong inclination towards music or sports will excel through them, and can even compete and beat those with inborn talent. To conclude anyone who has the desire to learn should be encouraged in extracurricular activities .
rani
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:00 pm

can some one advice me on this essay

Post by rani »

rani wrote:It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Answer
Inborn talents are a great gift from the Creator. Throughout the history many great legends have ruled the world of music and sports with their natural talents. In most countries children are encouraged to continue their love for music and sports from the grades one to twelve. Since many children are not born with the art of music and sport they would prefer to learn from everyday classes as extracurricular activities. Whether any child could excel by learning music and sports is a good contentious topic. In the following essay both the sides will be analysed before reaching a reasonable conclusion.
On the one hand people are gifted with talents or else they carry their ancestor’s genes who have the inbuilt qualities for natural gift of playing music or sports. As a result these people need to spend very less time in improving their talents or to learn different types of styles that are involved in music and sports. For example, I have a childhood friend who was to catch the rhythm, play the keyboard and sing rhymes when her mom inserts a disc in the CD player. Upon seeing her grasping ability the parents encouraged her to continue to compose music and sing regularly. Gradually this gift of music had led her to become a great musician.
On the other hand some parents who are interested in music and sports and are unable to learn during their life time, desires that at least their children should fulfill their dreams and aspirations. In some countries like India many parents goal is to teach their children with co-curricular activities along with their academic subjects. For instance my father when he was a boy liked to play football but could not afford to go for the coaching along with his friends; unfortunately he had to give up even his studies because of the family burden that was demanding him. But his dreams never went in vain; he fulfilled all those through my brother by sending him to learn football. As the proverb says “do your best and God will do the rest” my brother is the Captain for his school football team and won many best awards. Thus it is understandable why this point of view garnered support.
Following the various opinions that some are acquired with talents and while others learn them, I strongly believe that children or people regardless of their age who have strong inclination towards music or sports will excel through them, and can even compete and beat those with inborn talent. To conclude anyone who has the desire to learn should be encouraged in extracurricular activities .
yash567blr
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:52 pm

Re: kindly give me the rating for this essay ielts task2 gen

Post by yash567blr »

After writing my essay, felt that your concept and explanation was way different than mine.
Hence sharing my version of the essay :)

People say that inborn talent is very much important for the child to become successful in the respective fields like sports or music. However another set of people debate that, we can gain the excellence by continuous practice. In the following paragraphs, I will explain both these views before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On one hand, it is usually easy to achieve the success for people who are born with talents. They can learn quickly and makes lesser mistakes because of the sheer talent they possess. For an instance, consider a cricket player Sehwag. Without any proper footwork and body language, he achieved such a glory in cricket. It is mainly due to his talent of timing the ball correctly. Whereas people like Dravid, who has learned cricket through practice and learning, achieved the success with the perfect footwork and shot selection according to cricket books.
Dravid is a perfect example for a person, who has become good in sports with learning and practice. People without inborn talent, need rigorous and continuous practice to achieve the perfection. Comparatively, person has to face more hardships without inborn talent to become good in the respective area.
To sum up, in our society we have both kinds of successful people. Some might have reached the peak with ease due to inborn talent, few others would have did it with their dedication and practice. I personally feel that practice and learnings are very much essential for the success and inborn talent would be an added advantage to reach greater heights.
rani
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:00 pm

Re: kindly give me the rating for this essay ielts task2 gen

Post by rani »

yash567blr wrote:After writing my essay, felt that your concept and explanation was way different than mine.
Hence sharing my version of the essay :)

People say that inborn talent is very much important for the child to become successful in the respective fields like sports or music. However another set of people debate that, we can gain the excellence by continuous practice. In the following paragraphs, I will explain both these views before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On one hand, it is usually easy to achieve the success for people who are born with talents. They can learn quickly and makes lesser mistakes because of the sheer talent they possess. For an instance, consider a cricket player Sehwag. Without any proper footwork and body language, he achieved such a glory in cricket. It is mainly due to his talent of timing the ball correctly. Whereas people like Dravid, who has learned cricket through practice and learning, achieved the success with the perfect footwork and shot selection according to cricket books.
Dravid is a perfect example for a person, who has become good in sports with learning and practice. People without inborn talent, need rigorous and continuous practice to achieve the perfection. Comparatively, person has to face more hardships without inborn talent to become good in the respective area.
To sum up, in our society we have both kinds of successful people. Some might have reached the peak with ease due to inborn talent, few others would have did it with their dedication and practice. I personally feel that practice and learnings are very much essential for the success and inborn talent would be an added advantage to reach greater heights.


Thank you
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