Many people have to retire at the age 60 or 65. However, some suggest that these people should be allowed to work for as long as they wish. What are the pros and cons of this situation?
Globally, the argument about when a person should retire is a topic of debate. Some countries have a fixed age for retirement. Many believe that there should not be any age restrictions, while others refute this argument. In this essay, I will focus on both sides of this argument before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
For one thing, experience is most important when dealing with any issues in the workplace. Senior citizens, in their lifetime have tackled many such situations and can help juniors sail through difficult times. And for another thing, they can act as mentors to junior team members and help them learn the intricacies of the business. Thus, it can be seen that aged people bring stability to the group and thereby help the organisation grow.
On the other hand, to sustain in this competitive world, businesses are required to have quick turnaround time and to achieve this they are required to take quick decisions. It is a known fact that as we grow old, the ability to concentrate for long duration and take aggressive decisions diminishes. Since, senior people suffer from these age related disorders they tend to become a liability to the company and bring huge losses to the business.
To sum up, there are several advantages and disadvantages of allowing people to work as long as they want. However, after looking at both sides, I can conclude that disadvantages outweigh advantages. Therefore, an upper age limit should be fixed until when people are allowed to work.
Please check my essay
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npr.ielts7
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Please check my essay
IELTS Scores:- BC: (06/07/2013): R-8;L-9;W-6.5;S-6| IDP: (21/09/2013) R-9;L-8.5;W-6.5;S-6.5 | (09/11/2013) ????
Re: Please check my essay
(Please excuse the delay. I've been so swamped with work/life.)
Hi npr,
Your essay looks quite solid in most areas. There are a few grammatical issues, which I'm sure you will pick out on closer inspection. I would like to address your introduction paragraph:
Ryan
Hi npr,
Your essay looks quite solid in most areas. There are a few grammatical issues, which I'm sure you will pick out on closer inspection. I would like to address your introduction paragraph:
I think these opening thoughts are great; however, I don't see much of a link between them. Here is my take on the paragraph:Globally, the argument about when a person should retire is a topic of debate. Some countries have a fixed age for retirement. Many believe that there should not be any age restrictions, while others refute this argument. In this essay, I will focus on both sides of this argument before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
Here is a cleaned up version of the above:(Take out "globally" and tie it to the end of the sentence.) The argument regarding when a person should retire is a common topic of debate among most communities around the world. Some countries have even instated (<--Using language like this gives some amplification to the idea brought up in the first sentence. Without it, the cohesion between your first and second sentences is lacking.) a fixed age for retirement. Many believe that there should not be any age restrictions, while others refute this argument. (<--This is awkward because you have already mentioned the supporters of forced retirement. Here, you mention them again at the end of the sentence as if they are a third group of people. Playing off the previous sentence would work better: Although there are proponents of this practise, many believe there should not be any age restriction to the working life of a person.) In this essay, I will focus on both sides of this argument (<--Again, this is slightly awkward because you haven't framed the above as a single argument. Try taking ""of this argument" out.) before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. (<--This sentence is slightly awkward because you mix an active and passive sentence. Either write "In this essay, I will focus on both sides before a reasoned conclusion is drawn." or "In this essay, both sides will be analysed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.")
I hope that helps!The argument regarding when a person should retire is a common topic of debate among most communities around the world. Some countries have even instated a fixed age for retirement. Although there are proponents of this practise, many believe there should not be any age restriction to the working life of a person. In this essay, I will focus on both sides before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
Ryan
Re: Please check my essay
Hi,
Can anyone check my essay and point out the hidden errors in it.
In late 1900, retirement was the best time for elderly and gave 100 percent of their time in maintaining societal relationships. But recently, there were instances where people who are near to septuagenarians are still leading an active life. This situation led many to moot whether people at 60 or above, should take rest or should contribute to community. This inditing examines the pros and cons prior to concluding about the age of retirement.
Looking at the advantages of the situation, a community in which people are engaged continuously keeping aside their age will be the strong one in terms of health, environment and financially. To elaborate, consider Japan for example. Although people there get retired by 60 years, but they still enjoy working. Despite taking rest, they continue to search for jobs and contribute to the community, society and for their nations development. Additionally, it helps them to lead an active life, they would be informed about the latest trends, sometimes they can extend their hands in their grand children education and lastly, they live by themselves. Thus, it can be comprehended that working at 60 or over is helpful in personal and societal life.
However, the advantages are hindered by its negative effects. People who wish to work after 60 should also consider their health and should be able to harmonize with contemporary world. In India for instance, people who are 60 and above might not have fair idea about the impact of globalisation. In this context, they may endure with stress, at times can lead to a death.Additionally, a certain amount of time must be invested to cope them with the current trends in the workplace, which is time and cost consuming factors to firms. Therefore, it can be understood that people over 60 should spend their time with kith and kin.
After looking at different views and opinions about the subject “age of retirement”. It is a subtle issue and should be dealt with great care. Its is not only about the age but also many aspects are involved. I believe that these people must be encouraged to work with social issues rather working in a stressful strenuous environment. I wish these people can pass on the culture and tradition to the new generation.
Total word count: 379
Regards,
Bunni
Can anyone check my essay and point out the hidden errors in it.
In late 1900, retirement was the best time for elderly and gave 100 percent of their time in maintaining societal relationships. But recently, there were instances where people who are near to septuagenarians are still leading an active life. This situation led many to moot whether people at 60 or above, should take rest or should contribute to community. This inditing examines the pros and cons prior to concluding about the age of retirement.
Looking at the advantages of the situation, a community in which people are engaged continuously keeping aside their age will be the strong one in terms of health, environment and financially. To elaborate, consider Japan for example. Although people there get retired by 60 years, but they still enjoy working. Despite taking rest, they continue to search for jobs and contribute to the community, society and for their nations development. Additionally, it helps them to lead an active life, they would be informed about the latest trends, sometimes they can extend their hands in their grand children education and lastly, they live by themselves. Thus, it can be comprehended that working at 60 or over is helpful in personal and societal life.
However, the advantages are hindered by its negative effects. People who wish to work after 60 should also consider their health and should be able to harmonize with contemporary world. In India for instance, people who are 60 and above might not have fair idea about the impact of globalisation. In this context, they may endure with stress, at times can lead to a death.Additionally, a certain amount of time must be invested to cope them with the current trends in the workplace, which is time and cost consuming factors to firms. Therefore, it can be understood that people over 60 should spend their time with kith and kin.
After looking at different views and opinions about the subject “age of retirement”. It is a subtle issue and should be dealt with great care. Its is not only about the age but also many aspects are involved. I believe that these people must be encouraged to work with social issues rather working in a stressful strenuous environment. I wish these people can pass on the culture and tradition to the new generation.
Total word count: 379
Regards,
Bunni