CHILD OBESITY

[dearjohn]

I need a feedback on this essay. PLEASE

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.


Obesity among children is indeed becoming more common. This condition could negatively impact the young population especially with regards to their health. Many factors could be considered as a cause of this serious issue and efforts done at home and by the government should be shed to address this.

To begin with, obesity in children can be due to their exposure to junk foods in almost all places including schools. Foods such as candies, salty crackers and curls which contains inadequate nutritional value are omnipresent and are usually cheaply sold. As a result, children are tempted to consume these products in large amount as these foods are often appealing to children's tongue. To counteract this cause, the government can implement a law restricting vendors to sell junk foods at school or require food manufacturers to produce nutritious food products. For instance, in the Philippines, junk foods are banned at school and only foods with high nutritional value are allowed to be sold. Moreover, all junk foods are fortified with Vitamin A and other essential vitamins and minerals here in the country.

Furthermore, overweight parents produce overweight children. Children ought to imitate what they commonly observe. In the case of parents who has rather unhealthy lifestyle, their children may eventually adopt this way of living. This could happen as family shares same type of foods and daily routines. In connection to this, change should always start at home. Promoting healthy living is best amplified if parents act as an example. There are enjoyable activities that family could participate in, such as group exercise. Eating healthy food is also important. Parents should serve nutritious foods like vegetable but making it palatable and creative to tickle the interest of the young family members. Also, avoiding foods that are high in fat and sugar can be helpful.

In conclusion, obesity in children as we know can be blamed to the environment they are exposed to. Reasonable changes made by the government and more importantly by parents may decrease the incidence of this alarming health fact.

[Aditi]

Hello I am just a student like you. I could be wrong somewhere.…
Thanks and Best wishes for your exam.


Obesity among children is indeed becoming more common. This condition could negatively impact the young population especially with(<<in) regards to their health. Many factors could be considered as a cause of this serious issue and efforts done at home and by the government should be shed to address this.

To begin with, obesity in children can be (<<is caused) due to (their) exposure to junk foods in almost all places including schools (< rewrite: Obesity in children is caused due to unhealthy lifestyle. That is to say, most of the youngsters are addicted with junk food, like coke, candies and curls which is readily available in the markets. In addition, these foods are cheaper in comparison to healthy foods, like salads, fruits and nuts. As a result, they choose tasty but innutritious diets>). Foods such as candies, salty crackers and curls which contains (<<contain) inadequate nutritional value are omnipresent and are usually cheaply sold. As a result, children are tempted to consume these products in large amount as these foods are often appealing to children's tongue. To counteract this cause ( To overcome this issue), the( don’t write the here) government can( should) implement (impose )a law restricting vendors to sell junk foods at school or require food manufacturers to produce nutritious food products. For instance, in the Philippines, junk foods are banned at school and only foods with high nutritional value are allowed to be sold. Moreover, all junk foods are fortified with Vitamin A and other essential vitamins and minerals here in the country.( I guess reader can easily understand what you are talking here so don’t write here in the country.)

Furthermore, overweight parents produce overweight children (this line is quite awkward , you can simply write, in many cases overweight parents are the reasons for their children obesity because children imitate the behaviour and nature from their parents ). Children ought to imitate what they commonly observe. In the case of parents who has(<have) rather unhealthy lifestyle, their children may eventually adopt this way of living. This could happen as family shares same type of foods and daily routines. In connection to this, change should always start at home. Promoting healthy living is best amplified if parents act as an example. There are enjoyable activities that family could participate in, such as group exercise. Eating healthy food is also important. Parents should serve nutritious foods like vegetable but making it palatable and creative to tickle the interest of the young family members. Also, avoiding foods that are high in fat and sugar can be helpful.

In conclusion, obesity in children (as we know < don’t write this ) can be blamed to the environment they are exposed to. Reasonable changes made by the government and more importantly by parents may decrease the incidence of this alarming health fact.

[saqibali]

Try to use introduction paragraph in Ryan style

[robin20y]

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.


Obesity among children is indeed becoming more common."Child obesity is more common in these days especially in the western countries" This condition could negatively impact the young population <<you were asked to discuss about the obesity in children. So, should not relate it to youngsters>>especially with regards to their health.Many factors could be considered as a cause of this serious issue and efforts done at home and by the government should be shed to address this.
sentence not providing any meaning.
To begin with, obesity in children can be due to their exposure to junk foods in almost all places including schools. Foods such as candies, salty crackers and curls which contains inadequate nutritional value are omnipresent and are usually sold cheap. As a result, children are tempted to consume these products in large amount as these foods are often appealing to children's tongue**taste**. To counteract this cause, the government can implement a law restricting vendors to sell junk foods at school or require food manufacturers to produce nutritious food products.<you can't write this idea. Instead use proper health education to students> For instance, in the Philippines, junk foods are banned at school and only foods with high nutritional value are allowed to be sold. Moreover, all junk foods are fortified with Vitamin A and other essential vitamins and minerals here in the country.<<Then why did you call it as junk!!! junk foods are not determined by vitamins its more related to its fat and preservative contents >>

Furthermore, overweight parents produce overweight children. really??? do you have any evidence to prove this statement. what if your examiner is obese? write sentences carefully.Children ought to imitate what they commonly observe. In the case of parents who has rather unhealthy lifestyle, their children may eventually adopt this way of living. This could happen as family shares same type of foods and daily routines. In connection to this, change should always start at home. Promoting healthy living is best amplified if parents act as Eating healthy food is also important example. There are enjoyable activities that family could participate in, such as group exercise. . Parents should serve nutritious foods like vegetable but making it palatable and creative to tickle the interest of the young family members. Also, avoiding foods that are high in fat and sugar can be helpful. **junk food topic again**

In conclusion, obesity in children as we know can be blamed to the environment they are exposed to. Reasonable changes made by the government and more importantly by parents may decrease the incidence of this alarming health fact.

[dearjohn]

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.


Obesity among children is indeed becoming more common."Child obesity is more common in these days especially in the western countries" This condition could negatively impact the young population <<you were asked to discuss about the obesity in children. So, should not relate it to youngsters>>especially with regards to their health.Many factors could be considered as a cause of this serious issue and efforts done at home and by the government should be shed to address this.
sentence not providing any meaning.
To begin with, obesity in children can be due to their exposure to junk foods in almost all places including schools. Foods such as candies, salty crackers and curls which contains inadequate nutritional value are omnipresent and are usually sold cheap. As a result, children are tempted to consume these products in large amount as these foods are often appealing to children's tongue**taste**. To counteract this cause, the government can implement a law restricting vendors to sell junk foods at school or require food manufacturers to produce nutritious food products.<you can't write this idea. Instead use proper health education to students> For instance, in the Philippines, junk foods are banned at school and only foods with high nutritional value are allowed to be sold. Moreover, all junk foods are fortified with Vitamin A and other essential vitamins and minerals here in the country.<<Then why did you call it as junk!!! junk foods are not determined by vitamins its more related to its fat and preservative contents >>

Furthermore, overweight parents produce overweight children. really??? do you have any evidence to prove this statement. what if your examiner is obese? write sentences carefully.Children ought to imitate what they commonly observe. In the case of parents who has rather unhealthy lifestyle, their children may eventually adopt this way of living. This could happen as family shares same type of foods and daily routines. In connection to this, change should always start at home. Promoting healthy living is best amplified if parents act as Eating healthy food is also important example. There are enjoyable activities that family could participate in, such as group exercise. . Parents should serve nutritious foods like vegetable but making it palatable and creative to tickle the interest of the young family members. Also, avoiding foods that are high in fat and sugar can be helpful. **junk food topic again**

In conclusion, obesity in children as we know can be blamed to the environment they are exposed to. Reasonable changes made by the government and more importantly by parents may decrease the incidence of this alarming health fact.

thank you so much. yeah, i realized its a huge mistake when i said obese parents produce obese children.

[mitchgreen26]

Child Obesity is a growing problem in America. The main causes are poor eating habits and lack of exercise. Regardless of cries that junk food regulations are stealing consumers' right to choose and supporting the nanny state mentality, sometimes, the regulations actually work as intended. A study released Monday in Pediatrics notes that strong unhealthy food regulations may have a strong connection with lower child obesity rates.