GT Task 2 Feedback

[johnsky]

Hi, Can anyone please provide me feedback for the writing task 2 for GT, if you can also estimate the score I will get better.

Topic: Poverty exists all over the world in every country. Different countries deal with poverty in a different way. What can governments do to reduce poverty ?

Since the beginning of human civilization there was poverty, a lot of people suffer and the few proper. Every country has a different definition of poor; the definition of poor varies from country to country, it depends on the geographical region, economy, and culture.

History shows that even in the ice age, people suffered now the context of the ice age is different from this modern world, however we can see that few people prospered and many suffered. Those who were able to hunt survived the harsh weather, provide food for their family, whereas those who were not able to hunt died of starvation. In this modern world we can see big corporations are able to generate a lot of capital, and the owners of the corporations are able to live comfortably. A worker who works for the corporation have very little capital and barely makes a living.

In this modern era, with advances in medicine and engineering, poverty still exists, because it has been that way since civilization. The advancement in medicine and engineering created hope for millions, as they are able to take care of themselves and their family. But how long it can sustain millions of people, with the population increasing rapidly natural resources would decline. Food shortages will occur, more money is being poured into science and medicine to help the poor, but it will be fruitless, because a growing population will never be easy to manage.

World poverty existed thousands of years ago, whether it is due to weather, economy, population it is part of human nature to have some people who are well off, and some people who are suffering.

[g00chee]

Hi Johnky,

Good day to you. I would say your essay looks good especially on the introduction part where you provide a historical background about poverty. However, I don't see much details on the question "what can gov't do to reduce poverty". This looks for me comparing how the poverty is addressed in the past and present times. Thanks!

Btw, hope you could check my writing as well

http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2064

[durai]

Hi,

You misunderstood the question, they are asking what are the possible steps that governments can do to reduce number of poor people.

your whole essay is irrelevant,

[johnsky]

Thanks everyone for replying, yes I misunderstood the whole essay, that's why I was very disappointed in myself.

[durai]

Hi John,

No need to disappoint, just analyse what's gone wrong and try to solve....everyone make mistakes , but only a few of them analyse and rectify it, I assume you are analysing person

good luck