My goal is a Band 7. This essay was written by handwriting in 37 minutes.
It is expected that the proportion of old people will be higher than younger people in the future. Is it a positive or negative trend?
The proportion of the elderly has markedly increased over the last few decades, especially in developed countries. It is expected that the elderly will outnumber young adults in the foreseeable future. However, this situation could bring several drawbacks to most countries. This can be proved through analyzing how an excessive proportion of elderly could cause shortage of workforce and could lead to economical problems.
Firstly, the number of capable workers who can do hard work would certainly decline. For instance, it has become very difficult to build any building in South Italy. Since the elderly comprise almost three-quarters of the region’s population, there is a shortage of workforce for the construction-related jobs. This example clearly illustrates how the ageing of population could pose a hindrance to a country.
Moreover, a high number of elderly will have a negative impact on the country’s budget. The current situation in France plays a good example here. In France, where there is a high proportion of old people, the public expenditure on pension funds and health care system have spiralled out of control. This has led the government to increase the minimum necessary age for retirement, in order to avoid an economic crisis. Thus, a high proportion of elderly can jeopardize a country’s economy.
In summary, it is expected that the elderly will be the major share of some countries’ population in a few years. It is clear that this is a negative trend, since it could hinder a region’s development and also could threat the economy.
Task 2. Could you review it ?
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youngsherlock
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Re: Task 2. Could you review it ?
The proportion of the elderly has markedly increased over the last few decades, especially in developed countries. It is expected that the elderly will outnumber young adults in the foreseeable future. It is a negative trend.
First of all, this situation could bring several drawbacks to most countries. This can be proved through analyzing how an excessive proportion of elderly could cause shortage of workforce and could lead to economical problems. To be particular, the number of capable workers who can do hard work would certainly decline. For instance, it has become very difficult to build any building in South Italy. Since the elderly comprise almost three-quarters of the region’s population, there is a shortage of workforce for the construction-related jobs. This example clearly illustrates how the ageing of population could pose a hindrance to a country.
Moreover, a high number of elderly will have a negative impact on the country’s budget. The current situation in France plays a good example here. In France, where there is a high proportion of old people, the public expenditure on pension funds and health care system have spiralled out of control. This has led the government to increase the minimum necessary age for retirement, in order to avoid an economic crisis. Thus, a high proportion of elderly can jeopardize a country’s economy.
In summary, it is expected that the elderly will be the major share of some countries’ population in a few years. It is clear that this is a negative trend since it could hinder a region’s development and also could threat the economy.
Your work to me is an astonishing passage and proven to express connection with the rubric. In fact, you've touched the reader like me simply by exceptionaly providing 'real life' cases.
First of all, this situation could bring several drawbacks to most countries. This can be proved through analyzing how an excessive proportion of elderly could cause shortage of workforce and could lead to economical problems. To be particular, the number of capable workers who can do hard work would certainly decline. For instance, it has become very difficult to build any building in South Italy. Since the elderly comprise almost three-quarters of the region’s population, there is a shortage of workforce for the construction-related jobs. This example clearly illustrates how the ageing of population could pose a hindrance to a country.
Moreover, a high number of elderly will have a negative impact on the country’s budget. The current situation in France plays a good example here. In France, where there is a high proportion of old people, the public expenditure on pension funds and health care system have spiralled out of control. This has led the government to increase the minimum necessary age for retirement, in order to avoid an economic crisis. Thus, a high proportion of elderly can jeopardize a country’s economy.
In summary, it is expected that the elderly will be the major share of some countries’ population in a few years. It is clear that this is a negative trend since it could hinder a region’s development and also could threat the economy.
Your work to me is an astonishing passage and proven to express connection with the rubric. In fact, you've touched the reader like me simply by exceptionaly providing 'real life' cases.
Good Luck everyone.
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^O-O^
Re: Task 2. Could you review it ?
Thank for you kind consideration