task2 < competitiveness>

[durai]

Competitiveness among high school students should be encouraged. Do you agree or disagree?

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Over the last decade, competition among people has significantly increased the world over. In fact, many opine that secondary school students should be encouraged to compete. To my mind, such encouragement would be beneficial in terms of personal development, and so I completely agree with the above opinion.

First and foremost, encouraging high school learners to compete acts as a precursor for developing their cooperation. For example, the players of high school cricket teams need to have a good understanding between them to win the match. With such game, the cooperation, an important trait that needed for their future career, among players will increase. From this it is clear that how competition makes students to understand the importance of cooperation as a group.

Another important factor that deserves attention is the students’ improvement in their academic work as a result of participation in competitions. For instance, my nephew, who scored well in his final exam at year 10, was not a bright student until the school’s announcement of prize money for the top scorer. To win the award, he motivated himself and studied hard to win, and that is the reason for his high mark in the public exam held last year. Now it is understandable that encouraging competitiveness instills motivation and thereby improves academic performance.

Following this look, it can be concluded that secondary school students learn cooperation and motivation as a result of competitions. Therefore, competitiveness among high school pupils should be encouraged. It is hoped that this approach is increasingly followed by the schools all over the globe in the future.

[allen_zhang]

Competitiveness among high school students should be encouraged. Do you agree or disagree?

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Over the last decade, competition among people has significantly increased the world over. In fact, many opine that secondary school students should be encouraged to compete. To my mind, such encouragement would be beneficial in terms of to students' personal development, so I completely agree with the above opinion.

According to my understanding, the background introduction should be as close to the topic as possible.
even if you can talk about the competition among people you still need to back to high school students in this sentence.
For example:
The modern world is becoming increasingly competitive and some people believe that high school students should be encouraged to compete with their peers.


First and foremost, encouraging high school learners to compete acts as a precursor for developing their cooperation. For example, the players of high school cricket teams need to have a good understanding between them to win the match. As a Chinese, I never see any school boys play cricket. So it would be better to tell your readers that this is an example from India.

With such game, the cooperation spirit, an important trait that is needed for their future career, among players will increase. From this it is clear that how competition makes students to understand the importance of cooperating as a group.

Another important factor that deserves attention is the students’ improvement in their academic work as a result of participation in competitions. For instance, my nephew, who scored well in his final exam at year 10, was not a bright student until the school’s announcement of prize money for the top scorer. To win the award, he motivated someone can motivate himself? himself and studied hard to win, and that is the reason for his high mark in the public exam held last year. Now it is understandable that encouraging competitiveness instills motivation and thereby improves academic performance.

Following this look, it can be concluded that secondary school students learn cooperation and motivation as a result offrom competitions. Therefore, competitiveness among high school pupils should be encouraged. It is hoped that this approach is increasingly followed by the schools all over the globe in the future.

[robin20y]

Hi durai
I believe that personal pronouns should be omitted unless the question asks directly for that; such as, use your own life experience etc..Otherwise essays would seem like the writing of a school student.

[durai]

Hi Allen,

I understand your alterations in my writing.....no comments at this stage...

Hi Robin,

as far as I understood from Ryna's essay we can use personal examples if these could be appropriate...

I scored band 7 in writing when they didn't ask about my personal experience, but I included.

Its about school students' uniforms.

task is : How much importance should be given to school students in selecting their school wears.?


durai