Please criticize my letter

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saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Please criticize my letter

Post by saqibali »

You are being sent on a one month work assignment in San Francisco, California. You need a place to stay while you are there. Write a letter to the Maury Samson Real Estate Agency. In your letter:
explain the situation
describe the kind of accommodation you would like
provide the dates you will need it




Dear Maury Samson,

I am writing this letter to arrange me an official accommodation. Please allow me to elaborate further.

As you know, our company is being awarded a new project in San Francisco.Following this development, it is necessary to coordinate with client closely so that we could watch the contract terms more closely before they are finalized.In order to handle this task diligently, management has decided to assign me this assignment in this geographical area as client offices are stationed in this area.

As you know, I am a single person so I need a single accommodation.Since I would be required to prepare official documentation and communicate my working so my accommodation should have all official equipment as well as all official communication devices.Ideally, a two room apartment is desired.

As you can understand, my official assignment has one month duration so I need this accommodation for not more than 40 days.


Waiting your reply,

Saqib.
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allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: Please criticize my letter

Post by allen_zhang »

You are being sent on a one month work assignment in San Francisco, California. You need a place to stay while you are there. Write a letter to the Maury Samson Real Estate Agency. In your letter:
explain the situation
describe the kind of accommodation you would like
provide the dates you will need it

Dear Maury Samson,
Maury Samson is part of the name of this agency but not the guy you are supposed to contact. start with "Dear Sir or Madam"

I am writing this letter to arrange me an official accommodation. Please allow me to elaborate further.
I am writing to look for a short term accommodation in San Francisco.

As you know, How could he know? Is he your friend? our company is being awarded a new project in San Francisco.Following this development, it is necessary to coordinate with client closely so that we could watch the contract terms more closely before they are finalized.In order to handle this task diligently, management has decided to assign me this assignment in this geographical area as client offices are stationed in this area. The agency need not to know these details

As you know, I am a single person you are not married? :-) so I need a single accommodation what is single accommodation?.Since I would be required to prepare official documentation and communicate my working so my accommodation should have all official office equipment as well as all official office communication devices.Ideally, a two roomtwo bed-room apartment is desired.

As you can understand, my official assignment has one month duration so I need this accommodation for not more than 40 days. This is the important detail what the agency need, but you mentioned it at the end.


Waiting your reply,

Saqib.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
durai
Posts: 401
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: Please criticize my letter

Post by durai »

You are being sent on a one month work assignment in California. You need a place to stay while you are there. Write a letter to the Maury Samson Real Estate Agency. In your letter:
Explain the situation
Describe the kind of accommodation you would like
Provide the dates you will need it

Dear Sir or madam,

My name is Durai, and I am writing to request you to find some good accommodation for my stay in California. Please allow me to elaborate.

As a part of my contract, I have one month on-site project work in California, and as a result I am looking for a short term accommodation with competitive price and with excellent facilities.

I would like to have 2 bedroom fully-furnished apartment or townhouse with two separate bathrooms. Because I may have some client meeting in the house, so additional amenities such as internet and telephone would be highly appreciated. Also, I prefer easy proximity to my office located at 24 Gisborne Avenue from my house.

I intend to stay for at least 35 days from 29th June to 4th August. All expenses will be paid by my company so please forward all bills and receipts to Aldi Innovations, PO 234, Springvale, Australia 3171.

Please inform me about the arrangements at the earliest.

Yours faithfully,

Durai
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: Please criticize my letter

Post by allen_zhang »

Yep, bullitin point 2 is what you should focus on.
Location, size,facilities,services,price...you have enough to write.

I just have a question:
In China, for such kind of accommodation, hotel is the only option. However, in this case, "Estate Agency" looks like not the one that can help you to find a hotel. Is there such kind of agency in the US that can find an apartment for you?
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: Please criticize my letter

Post by saqibali »

Thanks a lot.
Can you kindly give me a cautious band?
Thanks again
allen_zhang wrote:You are being sent on a one month work assignment in San Francisco, California. You need a place to stay while you are there. Write a letter to the Maury Samson Real Estate Agency. In your letter:
explain the situation
describe the kind of accommodation you would like
provide the dates you will need it

Dear Maury Samson,
Maury Samson is part of the name of this agency but not the guy you are supposed to contact. start with "Dear Sir or Madam"

I am writing this letter to arrange me an official accommodation. Please allow me to elaborate further.
I am writing to look for a short term accommodation in San Francisco.

As you know, How could he know? Is he your friend? our company is being awarded a new project in San Francisco.Following this development, it is necessary to coordinate with client closely so that we could watch the contract terms more closely before they are finalized.In order to handle this task diligently, management has decided to assign me this assignment in this geographical area as client offices are stationed in this area. The agency need not to know these details

As you know, I am a single person you are not married? :-) so I need a single accommodation what is single accommodation?.Since I would be required to prepare official documentation and communicate my working so my accommodation should have all official office equipment as well as all official office communication devices.Ideally, a two roomtwo bed-room apartment is desired.

As you can understand, my official assignment has one month duration so I need this accommodation for not more than 40 days. This is the important detail what the agency need, but you mentioned it at the end.


Waiting your reply,

Saqib.
Limited free classes and unlimited best IELTS material at below link
https://www.facebook.com/pages/IELTS-No ... 3123916148
durai
Posts: 401
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: Please criticize my letter

Post by durai »

Hi Allen,

Yes, in Australia, there are many real estate agencies who look for accomodation either short term or long term.
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
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