Can i get 7 by this challenging task 2 topics

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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chadny013
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:16 am

Can i get 7 by this challenging task 2 topics

Post by chadny013 »

According to the film actor Jhon Wyane “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life”. How important it is for individual and the government thinking about the future rather than focusing on the present ?
A constructive plan can brings a better present for individual or for a government. Some argued that, live in present is most important rather than make a plan for future. It is believed that, present can be better if a contrive for future. This will be proven by analysing how individual can achieve success through planning and how government can rise a develop country by a formative plan.
Firstly, individual plan can be a precursor towards a better future. For example, if student make a study plan to finish syllabus according to planning can easily bring a good result in exam. This example can easily makes it clear that, a small planning can make our future better. Thus, there is a positive correlation between planning and individual future.
Secondly, future planning can be a liner towards an economic development of a country. Take India as an example, they had a plan to capture the call centre market from all around the world. To fulfil their target, they improve their technology knowledge. Moreover, groomed employees according to the standard level of a call centre. As a result, now 70 percent of call centre from around the world are serving by India. From this example it shows that, better planning can easily improve an economy of a nation. From this it can be conclude that, planning for tomorrow as a government can bring a positive outcome for a country.
After analysing the areas of planning for tomorrow, it has been show that, an individual can make their present organize by a better planning for future and it can be true for a nation as well. It is expected that, everyone will take initiatives to plan for future which can bring positive impact in present as well.
Johnson zhang
Posts: 153
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 8:34 am

Re: Can i get 7 by this challenging task 2 topics

Post by Johnson zhang »

According to the film actor Jhon Wyane “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life”. How important it is for individual and the government thinking about the future rather than focusing on the present ? this is a seriously deep question. I doubt students would see it in exams.

A constructive plan can brings a better present for individual or for a government. why are you concluding?Some argued that, live in present is most important rather than make a plan for futureand ?. It is believed that, present can be better if a contrive for future. This will be proven what? which one?by analysing how individual can achieve success through planning and how government can rise a develop country by a formative plan.
I still don't know how you think how important it is to focus on tomorrow?


Firstly, individual plan can be a precursor towards a better future. For example, if student make a study plan to finish syllabus according to planning can easily bring a good result in exam. This example can easily makes it clear that, a small planning can make our future better. Thus, there is a positive correlation between planning and individual future.

Secondly, future planning can be a liner towards an economic development of a country. Take India as an example, they had a plan to capture the call centre market from all around the world. To fulfil their target, they improve their technology knowledge. Moreover, groomed employees according to the standard level of a call centre. As a result, now 70 percent of call centre from around the world are serving by India. From this example it shows that, better planning can easily improve an economy of a nation. From this it can be conclude that, planning for tomorrow as a government can bring a positive outcome for a country.

After analysing the areas of planning for tomorrow, it has been show that, an individual can make their present organize what? a better planning for future and it can be true for a nation as well. It is expected that, everyone will take initiatives to plan for future which can bring positive impact in present as well.
Nothing is impossible! Band score 9 is certainly not.
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: Can i get 7 by this challenging task 2 topics

Post by allen_zhang »

Sorry, I would say this piece is far below 7..
I'll try to check your first paragraph.
According to the film actor Jhon Wyane “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life”. How important it is for individual and the government thinking about the future rather than focusing on the present ?

A constructive plan can bring a better present for an individual or for a government. Some argued that,remove comma living in present is most(more) important rather than makeing -->making a plan for future. It is believed that,(remove comma) present can be better if a person contrive for future. This will be proven by analysing how individual can achieve success through planning and how government can rise a developing country by a formative plan. I don't understand this sentence.
As you can see, grammatical errors are everywhere and very poor wording choice -- I cannot find a single sentence which is error free.

Sorry for saying this...
Last edited by allen_zhang on Sun May 25, 2014 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
chadny013
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:16 am

Re: Can i get 7 by this challenging task 2 topics

Post by chadny013 »

Thanks for your honest opinion i will try to work on those
chadny013
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:16 am

Re: Can i get 7 by this challenging task 2 topics

Post by chadny013 »

Can u advice me how can i improve my gramatical erros !!!
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