What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a foreign
country? Give illustrations and reasons to develop your opinion.
Statistics have depicted that there is a rise in the number of people who like to try living in a foreign country. Living in a foreign country is a great experience which can have both pros and cons. In this essay I will discuss some of the reasons why moving abroad is so popular and some of the challenges to overcome.
Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of moving away. One of the main positives of moving abroad is that it can cultivate your outgoing personality. For example, my friend Reza who was very shy decided to live in Paris for two years. It was a huge experience for him, he had no friends there so he had to overcome his weakness to find some friends and also find his place in the community. On his return, he not was not only not shy anymore but also seemed rather confident. To Sum up, living in a foreign country can make you more rounded as a person.
Turning to the other side of the argument there are lots of challenges that one should overcome by living abroad especially if there is also a language barrier to cope with. For instance, my very nasty cousin lived in china for a few months. She spent all those days just moaning about the food and cultural differences. She also had a hard time communicating with others as she didn’t know either Chinese or English. Finally, she realized that she can not keep it up like that and returned to Iran. All in all many people are not prepared for the shock of living in an alien culture.
All things considered, starting a new life in a foreign country is never easy. One should weigh up the pros of the personal growth and the cons of the cultural shock and language barrier. But if you manage to accept the differences, soon you will see a side of life which very few tourists are lucky enough to witness.
Writing Task 2 please evaluate
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Re: Writing Task 2 please evaluate
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Thanks for your submission habibka!! Please see my rewrite below ...
Statistics SHOW that there HAS RECENTLY BEEN a rise in the number of people who like to try living in a foreign country (delete ". Living in a foreign country"), which is a great experience THAT can have both pros and cons. In this essay I will discuss some of the reasons why moving abroad is so popular, AS WELL AS some of the challenges THAT NEED to BE overcome.
WE CAN begin by looking at the advantages of moving away. One of the main positives of moving abroad is that it can cultivate THE OUTGOING QUALITIES OF A PERSON'S (delete "outgoing") personality. For example, my friend Reza (who was very shy) decided to live in Paris for two years. It was a huge experience for him, AND he ACTUALLY had no friends there so he had to overcome his weakness BY findING some friends and also (delete "find") his place in the community. UPON his return, he not was not only not shy anymore but also seemed rather confident. To sum (don't capitalise this word) up, living in a foreign country can make you more rounded as a person.
Turning to the other side of the argument, (add comma) there are (delete "lots of") MANY challenges that one WOULD HAVE TO overcome by living abroad, (add comma) especially if there is also a language barrier to cope with. For instance, my very nasty cousin lived in china for a few months. She spent (delete "all those days just") ALL HER TIME THERE DOING NOTHING BUT moaning about the food and cultural differences. She also had a hard time communicating with others as she didn’t know either Chinese or English. Finally, she realized that (delete "she can not keep it up") IT WAS POINTLESS TO CONTINUE like that and returned to Iran. All in all, (add comma) many people are not prepared for the HUGE shock of living in an alien culture.
IN CONCLUSION, starting a new life in a foreign country is never easy. One should weigh up the pros of the personal growth and the cons of the cultural shock and language barrier. HOWEVER, if you DO manage to accept the differences, (delete "soon") you will SOON see a side of life which very few tourists are lucky enough to witness.
I think this is a top class task 2 essay. There were many good things about it - you used some innovative connecting structures, and the body ideas were very good.
Advice:
1. Try to join simple sentences together into more complex sentences (i.e. sentence 1).
2. Don't use contractions (S1 of the B1)
3. Don't forget commas in the middle of complex sentences.
4. You have to be careful that linking phrases do not repeat words or elements. For example, using "All in all ..." and then in the next sentence "All things considered..." sounded a little strange. There is nothing wrong with "All things considered to begin the conclusion, but when taken together with the previous sentence, it did sound strange because of the repeating "All".
5. Use "do" to emphasise the importance of the main verb (last sentence).
Band-score:
TA: 7.5
G: 8.0
V: 7.5
CC: 7.5
IELTS essay check : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/essays
Online IELTS lessons : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/lessons
IELTS Freebies!! : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/freebies
YouTube - "Task 2 - LINKING LANGUAGE" : https://youtu.be/slnYl_2WXjw
Thanks for your submission habibka!! Please see my rewrite below ...
Statistics SHOW that there HAS RECENTLY BEEN a rise in the number of people who like to try living in a foreign country (delete ". Living in a foreign country"), which is a great experience THAT can have both pros and cons. In this essay I will discuss some of the reasons why moving abroad is so popular, AS WELL AS some of the challenges THAT NEED to BE overcome.
WE CAN begin by looking at the advantages of moving away. One of the main positives of moving abroad is that it can cultivate THE OUTGOING QUALITIES OF A PERSON'S (delete "outgoing") personality. For example, my friend Reza (who was very shy) decided to live in Paris for two years. It was a huge experience for him, AND he ACTUALLY had no friends there so he had to overcome his weakness BY findING some friends and also (delete "find") his place in the community. UPON his return, he not was not only not shy anymore but also seemed rather confident. To sum (don't capitalise this word) up, living in a foreign country can make you more rounded as a person.
Turning to the other side of the argument, (add comma) there are (delete "lots of") MANY challenges that one WOULD HAVE TO overcome by living abroad, (add comma) especially if there is also a language barrier to cope with. For instance, my very nasty cousin lived in china for a few months. She spent (delete "all those days just") ALL HER TIME THERE DOING NOTHING BUT moaning about the food and cultural differences. She also had a hard time communicating with others as she didn’t know either Chinese or English. Finally, she realized that (delete "she can not keep it up") IT WAS POINTLESS TO CONTINUE like that and returned to Iran. All in all, (add comma) many people are not prepared for the HUGE shock of living in an alien culture.
IN CONCLUSION, starting a new life in a foreign country is never easy. One should weigh up the pros of the personal growth and the cons of the cultural shock and language barrier. HOWEVER, if you DO manage to accept the differences, (delete "soon") you will SOON see a side of life which very few tourists are lucky enough to witness.
I think this is a top class task 2 essay. There were many good things about it - you used some innovative connecting structures, and the body ideas were very good. Advice:
1. Try to join simple sentences together into more complex sentences (i.e. sentence 1).
2. Don't use contractions (S1 of the B1)
3. Don't forget commas in the middle of complex sentences.
4. You have to be careful that linking phrases do not repeat words or elements. For example, using "All in all ..." and then in the next sentence "All things considered..." sounded a little strange. There is nothing wrong with "All things considered to begin the conclusion, but when taken together with the previous sentence, it did sound strange because of the repeating "All".
5. Use "do" to emphasise the importance of the main verb (last sentence).
Band-score:
TA: 7.5
G: 8.0
V: 7.5
CC: 7.5
