Employers should pay young people the same salary as older colleagues doing the same job. Which idea do you agree with and why?
Employers tend to pay colleagues of older generation more than those that are young for the same amount of labour. I completely disagree with this practice and firmly believe that employees, regardless of age difference, should have equal salaries for the same work done. The following shall explain my views in detail.
To begin with, the age gap doesn't translate to the skill difference in the labour market, thus it is highly probable that a younger worker may have more experience and higher qualification for the job than a workforce member of older generation. As an example, a younger person of the staff may have a master's degree in accounting and finances while working as a banker, while older employee may only have bachelor's. Additionally, the young banker might have more practical training for the job, than the senior.
Secondly, the case discussed in the introductory paragraph is an example of age discrimination. It is an unethical practice, because countries of civilized world are obliged to create equal opportunity and footing for every citizen. By allowing age discrimination, they put the liberties and options of their people in jeopardy. An individual in their twenties earning less than their colleague who is of more mature age for the same work has less to spare for activities they deem desirable, unlike the older employee.
Finally, age should never become a factor for distinguishing employees. Every employee is pivotal for the company and they should be earning equal wages for the same labour.
IELTS Writing Task 2
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Re: IELTS Writing Task 2
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Thanks for your submission Spredde!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
Employers tend to pay HIGHER SALARIES TO EMPLOYEES FROM THE older generation COMPARED TO YOUNGER WORKERS for the same amount of labour. I completely disagree with this practice and firmly believe that employees, regardless of age difference, should have equal salaries for the same work done (Great sentence). The following shall explain my views in detail.
B1:
To begin with, the age gap doesn't NECESSARILY translate INto A skillS difference in the labour market, AND thus it is highly probable that a younger worker may have more experience and higher qualificationS for the job than AN OLDER WORKER. As an example, a younger staff MEMBER may ACTUALLY have a master's degree in accounting and finances while working as a banker, while older employee may only have bachelor's. Additionally, IT IS ALSO POSSIBLE THAT the young banker might have more practical training for the job (NO COMMA HERE) than the senior.
B2:
Secondly, the SITUATION discussed in the introductory paragraph is IN ACTUAL FACT an example of age discrimination WHICH is an unethical practice; civilized COUNTRIES are obliged to create equal opportunitIES for every citizen. HOWEVER, by allowing age discrimination, they put the liberties and options of their people in jeopardy. An individual in their twenties earning less than their colleague who is of A more mature age, for the same work, has less to spare for activities they deem desirable, unlike the older employee.
CONC:
Finally, age should never become a factor for distinguishing BETWEEN employees. Every employee is pivotal for the company and they should be earning equal wages for the same labour.
Advice:
1. Nice grammar, however watch those strange noun phrases - "younger staff member" not "younger person of the staff"
2. B1 has a really nice example about banking, but B2 doesn't have any specific example.
3. Try to use linking at the beginning of each sentence. You did this in B1, but not B2.
TA: 6.0
G: 6.5
V: 6.0
CC: 6.0
Anthony Schultz
www.goldcoastielts.com
IELTS essay check : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/essays
Online IELTS lessons : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/lessons
IELTS Freebies!! : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/freebies
YouTube - "TASK 2 INTRO" : https://youtu.be/WG2ujawMmVE
Thanks for your submission Spredde!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
Employers tend to pay HIGHER SALARIES TO EMPLOYEES FROM THE older generation COMPARED TO YOUNGER WORKERS for the same amount of labour. I completely disagree with this practice and firmly believe that employees, regardless of age difference, should have equal salaries for the same work done (Great sentence). The following shall explain my views in detail.
B1:
To begin with, the age gap doesn't NECESSARILY translate INto A skillS difference in the labour market, AND thus it is highly probable that a younger worker may have more experience and higher qualificationS for the job than AN OLDER WORKER. As an example, a younger staff MEMBER may ACTUALLY have a master's degree in accounting and finances while working as a banker, while older employee may only have bachelor's. Additionally, IT IS ALSO POSSIBLE THAT the young banker might have more practical training for the job (NO COMMA HERE) than the senior.
B2:
Secondly, the SITUATION discussed in the introductory paragraph is IN ACTUAL FACT an example of age discrimination WHICH is an unethical practice; civilized COUNTRIES are obliged to create equal opportunitIES for every citizen. HOWEVER, by allowing age discrimination, they put the liberties and options of their people in jeopardy. An individual in their twenties earning less than their colleague who is of A more mature age, for the same work, has less to spare for activities they deem desirable, unlike the older employee.
CONC:
Finally, age should never become a factor for distinguishing BETWEEN employees. Every employee is pivotal for the company and they should be earning equal wages for the same labour.
Advice:
1. Nice grammar, however watch those strange noun phrases - "younger staff member" not "younger person of the staff"
2. B1 has a really nice example about banking, but B2 doesn't have any specific example.
3. Try to use linking at the beginning of each sentence. You did this in B1, but not B2.
TA: 6.0
G: 6.5
V: 6.0
CC: 6.0
Anthony Schultz
www.goldcoastielts.com
