Agree & Disagree question please review

[ali15]

In the last century, the first man to walk on the moon said it was "a giant leap for mankind”. However, some people think it has made little difference to our daily lives.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Throughout history human being have been interested to discover the universe. That is obvious when mankind made it to the moon in the last century. It is argued that walking on the moon have not done any difference to people live. This will be proven by looking at how walking on the moon was a waste of money as well as time.

First, spending a huge amount of money just to discover the galaxy and the moon is extremely waste of resources. For example, in Sudan 20% of the country budget goes for this project discovering the moon. As this example shows, spending such a money on such a project will not benefit the people with anything, this massive amount of cash could be better used to improves individuals live in terms of health and education. Thus it can be seen that, assigning money to walk on the moon is a really is not a rewarding way to spend money.

Second, a lot of time has been used to do a research about the universe and the mon. for instance, referring to the prior example, the same country uses the power of money to attract intelligent scientist to carry out researches about the moon and the galaxy. Form this example, gravitating this smart brains to spend time doing researches on this project is completely useless. These elite people should be deploying on conducting studies and research on critical topics such as finding a cure for illness and how to improves the environment, form these, it can be concluded that, wasting time carrying on a research of how to step on the moon will not help to make any single change to human live.

After analyzing the area of wasting the time and the money on such a useless project. It has been proven waking on the moon is a nothing but a waste. It hoped that money and time to be used wisely in order to make positive difference in people live.

[Mark IELTS]

Hello!

In the first main paragraph, are you suggesting that Sudan financed the moon project or are you comparing the costs? The second paragraph is a little clearer, but I'm afraid that very weak grammar and poor vocabulary make this essay quite hard to understand. However, you have answered the question and introduced a couple of good points.

All the best,
Mark