Task 1 - left papers in the hotel - please evaluate it. thanks

[rairaichan0115]

You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel.

Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter

 Say where you think you left the papers
 Explain why they are so important
 Tell the manager what you want him/her to do

Dear Sir,

I am writing with regard to I leave a white envelope in your 1021 meeting room. Yesterday, I had a meeting with my client, however, I forgot a significant contract which I put into the white envelope in the meeting room. On the right side of the top corner has my company’s name that is “Mazy Insurance Company”.

It is an essential document as it has all my customer personal information and the details of our transaction. As you must no doubt aware that if that information is released to the public, our organization will suffer a critical loss. So I hope that if you can find this envelope then could you please seal it, keep it in your safety box along with calling me as soon as possible. I will come to your hotel to pick it up immediately. You can contact me at the phone number provided above. Your assistance in this matter is greatly appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Jenny Chan

[Mark IELTS]

Hello!

This is a very good letter. All the points have been clearly covered with some development of each point. Personally, I wouldn't tell people that this information is SO valuable - they might sell it to your competitors! Grammar and vocabulary are both good with relatively few errors - and no mistakes that interfere with meaning. I haven't counted the words, but it looks a little short.

All the best,
Mark